This year I just couldn't bring myself to buy any Christmas cards to send out. If you're reading this and you are expecting one from me, sorry not this year. I promise next year it will be all the talk and the best one you've ever received but this year it's just not happening. Call it busyness, call it lack of motivation, or maybe just lack of inspiration.
What kind of card do you send post divorce? It's not yesterday but not long enough that I can really think of something to put on the card that isn't a repeat (did the dogs one year and the house another) and for obvious reasons I am not putting myself alone.
I love love love love love getting the cards from all my friends and family, especially with great family pictures and little kids in matching outfits. But really it's kind of an ever so gentle slap as to what I am "not" at the moment.
This is not to be depressing but just kind of a defense as to my lack of card sending. I do not want to ever send a really boring Christmas card, like the store bought Hallmarky ones (no offense to be taken if you like those cards).
I like my card to have a lot of thought, or at least be funny. And maybe I also have a feeling of......if I send out a card I am just acting like I am this 100% self with not a scratch from the past 6 months of uncomfortable growth. Especially to those people out there who don't see me on a daily basis or even monthly basis. I mean, I am getting there...almost there.....but not quite. And I feel like if I was to send out this little card of Christmas happiness, it might be faking it a little.
Even though I got a tree (which I love), decorated my house, and even have Christmas bandannas on my puppies:) It's just a different feeling this year. New but unfamiliar, fun but uncomfortable at times, and sometimes sentimental but other times very refreshing.
I guess it's hard to explain but I just didn't want to do cards this year, and so I am not.....
I hope those on the receiving end can understand....I love you and next year you'll get a card:) Or should I say non-receiving end:(