Tuesday, March 31, 2015

People all over the place are fighting some kind of battle right? Unemployment, infertility, loss of some kind or another. Life is hard sometimes, and sometimes it seems like all the negative things are happening at the same time or back to back.
Our household has been sick on and off, but pretty much on since New Years eve. Mr. Big Dog's work has been heavy. I have been seeing how two days a week working at my big girl job as a nurse feels and works with our little family since February. And littlest mister turned ONE last week (more on that in another post). It's been busy as life is and can be. Really I like busy. I like having a little bit of chaos. I'm one of those people who functions better with more on my plate. Give me one thing and I may never get it done, give me 15 and they'll be done by noon. Just how I'm made.

But what I am not made for, what I am not good at, what I do not enjoy, is being held back and down.

I like to participate and not be on the sidelines. I like to help and not be helped. I like to give and not take so much. And I really don't like having this be the situation with my two little guys being my primary job everyday. I stay home 95% and when I'm down it doesn't work well for our TEAM.

A week ago I spend the day in the ER with an angry gallbladder and then yesterday had to have it taken out. Did I also say nurses and probably mothers are the worst patients? Well we are. The procedure was easy peasy quick down and dirty, but the recovery not so much. I'm suppose to relax, take a load off, recuperate.

But all I can think of is all that needs to be done, all I can't do, and how much I don't want to make any lemonade. A pity party you can call it. Which I hope is dissipating as I put these words online here. I need an attitude adjustment or a magic wand, and I really think a wand is never gonna happen.

So maybe I'll actually write more with this forced horrible vacation......maybe GOD thinks I need this forced break.....so here's to lemonade :)

Thursday, February 12, 2015

It's been WAY too long since I've posted. I can blame being busy with my 2 wild boys but really I think I also have been in a little bit of blog block. I've tried to write a couple times but no words have come to land on these pages. And my mind is kind of like what I picture someone with A.D.D to be like currently.....example:
Note to self: I need a new header picture on this blog. Gotta add Windex to my grocery list....wait I swear I bought Windex at Target. Did I call and make Miah's doctor appt? The clothes need to go in the dryer. Why do I not have a decent family picture of us as a family of 4? Oh no, I'm gonna blink and have no pictures of us all together and the boys will be 30. Where is that Windex?

Seriously, this is how my mind is lately. So when it comes to this blog I guess I've just been blocked and distracted at the same time. Nothing holding my attention long enough to actually write.

Motherhood is good and exhausting. I can't even stand how adorable Jeremiah is and he's starting to be a little mischievous lately. He likes to turn on the bathtub facet he can reach in our bathroom. I tell him no sweetly and he just smiles and turns in on and off with this little glimmer in his eye. I also think my heart might explode when the two of them play together. Jonah is so gentle with him but they chase each other around the kitchen as I make dinner almost every single night. Jonah asks "wheres Jer-e-Miah?" Constantly if he's napping......and that is exactly how he says it.

Jonah is still obsessive with books....he goes through withdrawals if we don't make and appearance at the library at least once a week, and this mama starts to get a little coo coo as well since I can only read a book 50 times before I start feeling crazy. Miah is getting a little more into books but really he is more interested in big brother and likes to point and climb on everything. He's figured out how to thrash just right when you're holding him so that he gets put down quick, then he is practically running with his Frankenstein like arms ahead of him to any electrical outlet, facet (as I mentioned earlier), or staircase as quickly as possible. I think he really thinks this is his job, to try to get to any of these things before being apprehended by me or Mr. Big Dog. My relentless little Tugboat.

So really that's where I've been, that's where I'll be and hopefully I won't be on as long of a hyades between now and my next post........

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