Monday, August 30, 2010

I found the most amazing organization online that is actually based out of Milwaukee, Oregon. Yes we have a Milwaukee:) The organization is called Making Memories. Anyways, they take bridal dresses by donation and then have bridal sales and all the proceeds go to breast cancer. It's called Brides against breast cancer. They do dress tours selling the dresses:)
I wanted my beautiful dress to go to good use for someone out there and what better way than this? They have an even have an upcoming sale here in Portland:) October 8-10:)

You can ship them the dress from anywhere in the country. It's a great cause and someone out there will get a beautiful dress at a fraction of the cost. Plus you get to write it off as a tax donation at the price of what you payed for it:) They even take veils too!

Another box checked off on my to do list:) And I don't have to feel bad about donating it because someone else will give it a good home:)

So if you have a dress from your previous life and you want to help out a very good cause:) They are your people. Ahhhh, another box checked off and it feels so good.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

I had so much exhausting fun. We were not running to win, just to finish. And that we did it!
I ended up having to change my leg to what I think is a much more difficult leg at the last minute, and people I'm talking 24 hours before the run started. No time to really mentally prepare, no time to really think about it at all. I just had to do it. So I ended up running legs 6, 18, and 30. Now what is ironic and just weird about it all is that a year ago I ran Hood to Coast with him, and actually he ran this exact leg.

Funny how things work out. I would never have thought I could run this leg. His leg. It was daunting last year as I watched him run it and I remember thinking, " I could never run this leg."

So it's interesting how the world works and puts you in a place and situation just to show you how strong your really are. How a year later with all the changes in my life, fate would put me in a predicament that only I would be the one able to run this leg. The one leg I did not want to run. The one leg I had dreaded even watching was now my enemy to conquer.
It was almost like God threw me onto a stage and told me to sing and I busted out with a Grammy award winning hit. And as I ran and ran it was like I every step was one further from my divorce and further from my old life. And closer to my new self, my happier life and a more confident running diva:)

And I must say.....huuhumm I ran it well! I did great and I felt great. And I am not even all that sore or tired:)
God does only give you as much as you can handle:) And you can always handle way more than you think.
By the way, there will be a hood to coast documentary in theaters January 11, for it!
More pictures to come:) And yes those people up on the left in are wearing mullet wigs....part of an eighties theme van:)

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Look at her. I like to think she's just curvy:) But over the past couple of years every time I take her to the vet I seem to have the same discussion. The conversation goes something like:
"Oh my, she's up another 6lbs!"-me
"She needs to loose weight."-the nicest Veterinarian in the world

"I walk her, I watch what I feed her, but she always acts hungry."-me
"Give her apples, carrots, anything but what you are feeding her, she needs to loose some weight."- Veterinarian
"How much weight are we talking?"-innocent, me loving every single lb of her
"At least 6lb, but more like 15." -Veterinarian

"OH, MY!" "Okay, I will get tough and really put her on a diet. No more treats, more walks, and that very expensive dog food without fat or flavor."-me
"Sounds good, keep trying...maybe take her swimming."-Veterinarian

So now here I am. How do I have a fat dog? I do walk her, and I measure her food, but the weight just keeps increasing! So now my tough love will have to kick into action as I am going to help her become an even healthier version of herself:) Maybe I have been giving her a couple extra treats here and there.....but I promise that will stop now:)

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

I thought it would be worse. I actually thought I would die and told several people those exact words " I am going to die!", but I didn't. I thought I would cry all day and not want to get out of bed, but I actually went to work. I thought I would not want to eat and would continue to physically wither away, but I actually did the opposite and carbed up for Hood to Coast with the annual work BBQ;)

Everyday gets easier. Everyday I realize how much better off I am. My girlfriend's husband tells me often and sweetly "he just did someone out there such a big favor." And I am beginning to realize that. I know he gave up something that someone else out there will appreciate much more.

I survived my ex-anniversary and I am here to tell all of you out is just a day and it too shall pass. It's just a memory that in time will fade, and for now I am just happy I was able to reflect on it and not grieve it. One day at a time.

On an even happier note.....36 hours until Hood To Coast!

Sunday, August 22, 2010

A couple months ago my dear girlfriend and her hubs started taking me with them to their church. Now mind you I am not am not ultra religious and I don't attend every Sunday. However, I am very spiritual (how can I not be with my job) I just haven't ever really been in a routine about organized religion.
And every single time so far, I have had the same experience. I don't know if they pump tear gas in or oil the pews with onions but I just.....cry and cry. And once I start, I can't stop. Maybe it's because it feels good to be in a place that seems to accept you for everything you are and aren't. You don't have to hide anything, like your big bad D or your dark sleep deprived baggy eyes. They take it all, He takes it all. The good the bad and the ugly. It's like a faucet turns on and I don't even care how I look. I just cry. And I feel this weight lifting off my shoulders that had re-accumulated over the past 3 weeks. I had just covered it up, probably with makeup and a new jacket and now it was evaporating. I hadn't cried, much if at all lately so I guess it was long over due.

My one girlfriend always says crying makes her feel worse, she feels extra worn down by it. And I do feel and know what she is saying, but I also feel like when I hold it in it hurts worse.
Every time I cry I seem to feel better even if it's just a little bit. I feel a little further up this hill (it's not a mountain anymore) and a little more okay.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

I really think people "think" too much sometimes. Mainly women, but men at times too. I am learning how to maneuver this new single life quickly although rather roughly. I really think I am just trying to have a good time, but maybe it's my personality that makes it seem like I have some ulterior motive. Honestly, I am too busy to be thinking anything too seriously at this point besides internal questions like "did I eat lunch?" or "did I feed the dogs?" Seriously, my brain feels like mush most days. So I just want to HAVE FUN! Why is that so hard to understand? Why is that so unbelievable?
Maybe women in general are so famished for "the relationship" that guys out there are in a real hurry to set standards out loud for you so low so that you don't get attached too them or expect too much. Mainly they don't want you to expect too much, or even expect the bare minimum, which is a total turn off to having any sort or relationship- laid back or serious with a guy.

I know my standards are high, as they should be. Or are they just respectable? Are there really women out there that put up with this behavior? Even if I don't want something serious, I do want to matter.

It's just too bad that the "over thinking" can "end" something before it even starts.....

Oh well, back into the dating pool I go. This time I will watch out for the sharks a little better :)

Friday, August 20, 2010

This place is my new favorite shopping ground!! I mean if I am spending money on running gear it's not really frivolous? Right? And it's not like I didn't NEED this stuff....I am running Hood to Coast this next weekend and a girls gotta look good right? Can you hear my buyer's remorse through this post?
Check out their website, which really does not their store justice.
I will say I ran a mean 7 miles in one of my newly purchased outfits today though! Worth every single penny:)

Thursday, August 19, 2010

I love love love my dog groomer Sally:) She is the sweetest and we have followed her from grooming location to grooming location until a little over a year ago when she started her own mobile grooming. Isn't her grooming trailer adorable?

My dogs love her and it is soooo convenient that she comes to us. Especially when you have 3 dogs.

Now I just have to wash their beds and my sofa slipcover:) Whose idea was it to get white again? But I will say it's cinch to clean and continues to look pretty fabulous.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

OMG! How did it creep up on me? I was just thinking how far away it still was...ummm 2 weeks ago. Now I have 10 days to really get my head in the game.
I loved it last year, I started training in March before the race last year. This year, um May I started running while I was in D.C. But I will say I began my training much more fit this year than the previous year.
I don't know if I have shared with you some of the fun aspects of hood to coast. For one, everyone decorates their vans:) And you have a team name, which can win if creative enough. I think you just win recognition, nothing too big:)

This year our van/team name is: Michael Jackson has left the building and he got into our van:) So everything will be Michael-fied and all our music will be a tribute to the King of pop:) We have are well equip with an MJ black hat and silver sequin glove too.

It's not an easy 24 hours, but it will be a blast! Especially with the people I am running with.

And my dogs get to STAY here, which they love love love. And they get their pictures taken on and off during their stay for the owners to take home, which I love love love. I really feel like they are on vacation themselves when I leave them there, which is important to find in any overnight kennel. The three of them actually get to stay in a suite together, too cute.

So start sending my your energy vibes and good thoughts for my legs:) If you want to check it out, I am running leg 3, 15, and 25:)

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

I don't have these days often but they still happen. I mean the days where for some odd reason I have down time and my mind wanders and begins to think about how everything has changed (for the better I know please don't misinterpret) so so quickly. Don't get me wrong, I love change. Change at work, change with my new additions, change with seasons, even changing my sheets. But some change takes longer to get use to.

I sleep fine alone, but not all night. I still hate taking out the stupid trash, and when I can't get the mower to start I almost cry. But I do it and I push on and I know I get stronger for doing it all by myself everyday.

It's so hard sometimes to just be yourself, by yourself. I am so good at being half of a whole and thinking about someone else before myself that now I am in foreign territory, without a passport or a map...and everyone speaks Japanese. But I know in time I will learn the language and it will feel like home again but differently.

And it's truly not him I miss. Just an idea, just a comfort, just a check box, and a thing I didn't have to worry about. But today, at this moment I just had a reality check that I blocked out for the past I allowed myself a pity party for just one minute. Actually just long enough to write this. I know this is normal, just not fun.

By the way...things you should not say to someone newly divorced:) Funny but honestly people have said this stuff meaning well....

1. "Honey, you're pretty so you will be fine"
2. "At least you didn't have kids, so it shouldn't be too bad"
3." Oh, Is this your first divorce? I've been divorced 3 times. It gets easier."
5. "Oh! About time!"

Off to bigger and brighter things, people and times:) And to pick up my newly altered jeans:)

Saturday, August 14, 2010

I can do a lot on my own. A LOT. I mean I am up for a challenge most of the time, but can I do it all? Are there certain things you should leave up to the professionals? For example, I am lacking a gate and a section of fence. It seems simple enough, I mean it's just wood and nails right? And then there is the dog run I would like to put in and the doggie door. This list just keeps growing and growing. But I think that is part of being an adult and owning a home right? And you shouldn't HAVE to pay someone to do everything.....right?

So I have been talking to all my friends about "the fence and gate" project and 99.9% of them say I will help you, just wait till September:) Which is fine; I mean beggars can't be choosers. But as you all know I am very very impatient. So I decided to go to Parr Lumber myself and just check out what all I needed for the gate. Next thing I know the girl is telling me "oh honey, it is so simple. You can totally do it!" And I am nodding yes and feeling all sassy smart about how "I WILL BUILD MY OWN GATE." And things like "I don't need a man for this" are starting to come out of my mouth. No joke. I am all empowered and ready to tackle this gate. And next thing I know I am leaving the store with my car full of lumber and I am perplexed as to how I am going to actually start the project.

I unloaded my supplies I had just purchased, found a book on fence/gate building, and now I am planning. If you think you can then you can right? And I do not want to be the laughing stock of Beaverton with an amateur gate people. I need it to be just right. (And for the record I did get several quotes and the most reliable confident seeming guy was $600 big ones just for the gate alone). He must have seen my money tree growing in the yard:)

So at the moment I am planning and questioning my independent woman-ness. Can I do it? I am going to have my sissy here, sunscreen on, my handy dandy book, and I promise to measure twice cut once. Not to mention, a couple in depth conversations with the guy in the lumber department one more time:)

Wish me luck! Have any of you built a gate before? Oh and I forgot to mention, it's going to be a double wide gate...because I never do anything easy...

Thursday, August 12, 2010

So I was driving in my car listening to the radio when the announcer came on and said they would be giving away tickets to a private show put on my Sara Barreilles, which as you know from one of my previous posts, I really like :)

I thought "I never win, but maybe I should call. " I got home, unloaded my car and turned the radio on. And for kicks I googled the radio station to get the number. I figured, what do I have to lose?

So then the DJ came back on and said......"the 10th caller will win tickets to a private show with Sara Barreilles..." So I dialed, which for the record I have never done. t was busy, so I tried again, and again.....and yes one more time. And then I WON!!!

So today my sister, mom, and girlfriend Selina went and sat five feet tops from Sara Barreilles as she played her biggest hits and had us participate in the clapping portion of her latest song "King of Anything." It was incredible. She is amazingly great and I even have a couple pics to prove this story did in fact take place:)

But my the best part of any show, I think, is when an artist plays another artist's music and makes it there own.....Sara played this number...and actually I like it better than Beyonce;)

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Date number....ummmm......lets just say I've had a couple now;) And tonight my potential will be meeting me at The Mint. I haven't been there if forever. But it's really posh. And because of it's posh-ness, this girl needed a new outfit. Actually due to this new life, I must admit I have been doing some serious damage to my budget as of lately with shopping! I really NEEDED some new outfits with this dating life and all:) I helped the economy at Anthropology, and bought this cute little number. Then I hit Nordstroms, and bought some sexy seven jeans which I have wanted for the longest time! And then helped the little shop owners at a couple boutiques with some other must haves. I have to admit I am having fun re-inventing me and just taking care of me for the first time in a very long time, long overdue people....

Another "must do" as of lately, has been my new NEED for pedicures as soon as I see the slightest chip.
Ladies, if you haven't had a pedi in awhile treat yourself! I promise, you will "feel" more put together, even if you really aren't inside.
I love the names of the colors on the polish bottle. My last color was "date night" and was a fun red. The latest color is "knight on the town." Really? Who comes up with this stuff? You know there is some man behind a desk somewhere just naming nail polish colors. Or maybe there is a committee of them just arguing the names over a very long table. And then one of them passionately slams down their fist and announces " This really looks like a knight on the town!"
Who knows, but they names are entertaining.
So, wish me luck tonight....
I know when you feel good you look good:) At least that is my experience.

Friday, August 6, 2010

You know some things are a real deal breaker the second time around. One biggie for me is that you must love dogs, since I have..ummmm...three four legged family members. Which I find I don't share proudly, I just say "I have dogs," since I think this may be a red flag to some people. Maybe they would think I was a dog lady who dressed them and baked them birthday cakes. You know a dog lady, kind of like a cat lady. And they would definitely anticipate that my house smells doggy (even though it doesn't:) ) So I have decided that it has to be a little down the road when I drop the 3 in front of dogs, but overall most people are okay with it, at least to my face they are.

So what better way to meet someone for the first time then to have a dog walking date:) It was his idea which was cute and creative (extra points for creativity for sure). However, I only took 1 dog. Like I said you have to ease into the 3 conversation. So I picked Ruby due to her happy personality and friendliness. I made sure Miss Ruby was well exercised (6 mile run) so that she didn't overly show her personality, as well as a bath and collar change;) Us girls like to make a nice first impression after all.

So the date was at a park and Ruby was ready to impress. Carl on the other hand ( a 2 year old Beagle) could have cared less. He didn't even sniff her. She tried to get his attention a couple of times but he was soooo uninterested. Then towards the end he seemed like he started to come around, but it was too late. She was over it and she was ready to leave. I was somewhat unimpressed by the human part of the date, so I too at that time was ready to leave.

Anyways, another date under my belt, and Ruby got another walk. I am starting to figure out the chance of all my dates being great is highly unlikely. What's that saying? You have to meet a couple toads before you meet your prince? Maybe I just lucked out on that first one:)

Maybe someday, someone will quote me for inspiration. I love a good quotes!

I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element.
It is my personal approach that creates the climate.
It is my daily mood that makes the weather.
I possess tremendous power to make a life miserable or joyous.
I can be a tool of torture, or an instrument of inspiration.
I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal.
In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or de –escalated, and a person humanized or dehumanized.
If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming. - Goethe

This quote is so true for everyday relationships, but really extra true for nursing:)

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Music can really get you through anything. I feel like there are songs that just say exactly how I feel sometimes....and I can run to them anytime, anywhere. I love strong women, especially when they know exactly what to

I guess depending on my mindset each of these songs helps me channel my inner independent woman:) And each time I listen to them, I swear I am in a better mood instantly.
Then I find I am ready to listen to music that is a little more..........sunny. Soon I know it will be all sunny but this coping mechanism seems to be working for the time being:)

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Life is way to short to live with regret. I mean I really can not stand the "grass is always greener" outlook some people have out there in our world. Maybe that is part of the reason I am getting more and more excited about my new life. I have so much to be thankful for, and so much to look forward to. And I have people very close to me that are going through their own turmoil that really seems much much harder than my own.

To look forward to: I baked cupcakes for a co-workers baby shower at work tomorrow (like mother like daughter) and I got these awesome cupcake papers right at Fred Meyer (the local grocery store). And you won't believe this! They were on the baking isle and are made by Reynolds!!! They cost a $1.67 and look so professional. I know my cupcakes will shine and the mommy to be will feel very loved at how pretty they are;)

As for my friend going through something much harder:( She lost her husband about 3 months ago to a long battle with cancer. She is an inspiration to me everyday. And she is constantly showing me how to fully appreciate every second we have on this earth. How to really milk every last drop out of each second of the day.

I am happy at the amount of green my grass has. I am satisfied with my life as it is at this moment. And I live with absolutely no regret about the decisions I have made in my previous life, because they made me who I am today...which is a much stronger, better person.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Can you picture it? Me driving this baby down the Oregon coast? Or maybe down to Portland's Saturday Market? Or maybe just to run with my little dog?
I love the old bugs, the new ones are okay but I love the vintage much more.
I have always wanted a fun car and this one is on craigslist. (How did we ever live without craigslist?)
I have put a lot of thought into this and so I know it would not be an impulse buy....but I do have to say this is not something I would have told you I was thinking about doing a year ago for sure.
And it makes me happy just looking at the picture! So any advice out there? Pro's and Con's people.....

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