Thursday, December 19, 2013

Again why I love Pinterest. I found this pin and loved the thought of having our anniversary date up in our bedroom. So I started to work on my own:) I used a 50% off coupon at Michaels, gotta love a deal and bought the canvas along with tan and white paint since I don't have much black in my home.  Even though I love the way this one looks:) 

My mom has a cameo silhouette machine, I dream of one but since she and my sissy have them I just hit them up once in awhile for projects;) So my mom did the stencil on her silouette machine. Now of course I am never 100% happy with the end project, and that may just be me. But I think my mom will have to come over and help me "Un-new" it...maybe glaze it to make it look more antiqued. Soon I plan on painting our bedroom a much more neutral cream so I picked the tan/white to complement that....since finding bedding to go with blue has been a little bit of a challenge. I also plan on finally getting around to printing/framing or just ordering canvas prints from our wedding to group with it:) Oh the list goes on and on. But it is getting more and more homey by the second.....
Now where to hang it?.......

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

It's like he's always been my right hand man but at the same time still feels as fresh as a new car.
This past 730 days has been filled with laughs, tears, smiles and lots of growing, but all together.
We've survived our first child, and our child's first year together. We've weathered a huge life change of my career swap to 98% SAHM remember. And now we are expecting number 2 going into our 3rd year as Mr. and Mrs. You make me laugh and you make me think. You push me to be the wife and mother I really want to be.

We just balance each other out. He's my peanut butter and I'm his jam. He's my eggs and I'm his bacon. And I will stop there with the food analogies, but gosh am I pregnant or what?

I just thank God for finding him for me. And today more so than others just because today is the day I took his last name.

Happy Anniversary Honey. I wouldn't want to do this with anyone else:)
And this is EVERYTHING. Love you:)

Saturday, December 14, 2013

If feels like this picture was just yesterday. He's grown so much in the past year. I can't believe how fast it all happens just like everyone said it would. He is so different but so the same. He still has his little serious moments like the one caught in this photo last year. I can't even imagine how different he'll be by next year......

Friday, December 13, 2013

So baby number two is in full steam ahead progress with month 6 well underway.

Last time the weeks seemed to creep at a snails pace by with constant reading of "what to expect when you're expecting" books to make sure everything was correlating. Constant eager countdowns to prenatal appointments and waiting to feel little mister move inside me:)

This time it just seems to be breezing by and my body is in overload of seeming to know what to do. Like riding a bike, my belly is bigger faster/earlier and even the hip pain I remember at the end has come back to say hello like it missed me. This time maybe 2 months earlier;(

Again, we decided to not find out what our little bundle will be (boy or a girl) this time. And maybe this is due to the "fairness" card I am realizing all too well parents feel they have to play with more than one little person in the house. I did it with little mister so why would I not with number 2?

You have this need to make sure everything is done fairly like you did for the first. Which I know is impossible with having two. You just can't treat everything as if you have one. But in the grander sense I know I want the same surprise for number two as I had with little mister.

Hearing Mr. Big Dog tell me "it's a boy" after sweating through those two hours of pushing and all day labor was one of the best sentences to ever come out of his mouth. With the others being "I love you" and "Will you marry me" of course.

So even if it's my own selfishness of hearing him tell me, it will be worth all this time wondering are you a little brother or little sister? Are you made for bows and ruffles or more bow ties and plaid flannels (which I love on little mister)?
 I have this eagerness to know and meet you but I feel like you are my ultimate Christmas gift I don't want to peek at. I want to save you for last after all the others, I want to hid you in the back behind the tree until everything else is discovered and then you are the best one for last one:) I am so excited to see how you will be the 4th member of our little family. Excited to see you with your brother. Excited to see you with your daddy. And of course excited to hold you myself. But it is all worth the wait for me because I know no matter what you will be amazing.
And more than I can ever imagine. So much so, I want to savior every second of the unknown and love you 100% for who you are already.
And really I just love surprises........remember my wedding?
I mean who doesn't love a good surprise?

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

So last year with little mister coming we decided to renovate the upstairs bathroom. It only had a shower and was poorly designed with the toilet in the MIDDLE of the room:( And when I say middle I mean MIDDLE. You literally had to open the door, step in to the left of the porcelain throne and then close the door just to use the toilet. It was such a disaster that this bathroom had rarely been used before I moved in with Mr. Big Dog. Actually the entire second floor really had not had much use since he was a bachelor and only had house guests who were okay with sleeping on an air mattress:) Back to the bathroom.....
So the second floor needed love, but most drastically the bathroom needed an overhaul. I had tried putting "lipstick on a pig" by painting the walls a mocha earlier and deep cleaning it but really it did nothing for the space.

 As you can see the toilet is right in the middle and behind the door in the shower....without a shower door or even shower curtain in this pre-reno pic....did I say very very tiny shower?
 Did I mention Mr. Big Dog is a large man at 6'3...I doubt he would have ever fit in this tiny little space without claustrophobia:(
 Oh and how can I forget the cabinet and counter to the right of the toilet? Useless, pointless and really you couldn't even get to it since the toilet was so close. The pictures just don't do it justice at how bad it was. I wish I had been in a home improvement store at the right moment for one of those shows.....our bathroom was bad enough they would have definitely taken pity and helped us out. But no, it was all up to us:) We had to do something about it before baby and expected house guest would be staying more often:)
 Tiny little a big farmhouse total oxymoron:)

So with the help of our Vancouver, Wa contractor Boe Construction:) We made plans!

We used a Derek Boe to do arrange/complete all the labor and design but we picked all the tiles/sink/facet/etc.
I call our house "farmhouse style" which drives my husband nuts, since it was built in 1994-ish. But it has a wrap around porch and it classic with dormer windows. I think it's our farmhouse and in line with that has been my style of decorating it. I love vintage but nice and clean lines. Lots of white:)

I have always loved hardwood floors which we have throughout 80% of the main floor, so when we were looking for new floor for the bathroom and I saw this wood looking tile it was perfect.

 Of course it is laid in a pattern like a real hardwood floor would be to make it look more real.

 The mirror was a find at salvation army ( I only shop there on half off days so it was $10) and fit perfect. The sink base was custom made to go with a basic farmhouse wood look and the counter we picked a granite slab with some grey, white and a fleck of burgundy. It all ties together nicely.

 The tub is a standard size and the surround is my favorite....subway tile. I love me some subway tile and had it in my last home as well. If I have my why it will also grace the backspace of our kitchen someday:) It's just classic and clean and can really go with anything.

 The tile back splash goes all the way around the room instead of doing a chair high wainscoting. I thought it would be too busy with two different textures and this waterproofs the bathroom more for the littles who are really going to be the primary users of this space. The backspace goes from around the sink, around the room and then completes three sides of the shower walls.

The toilet was a home depot pick of again classic farmhouse basic:)

Tile was a must for us. We wanted this remodel to be classic and last throughout the next many years. Tile is more spend but with the space being on the smaller size we felt it was worth it.
And we love how it came out. As well as our house guests:)

The fixtures (sink and shower) are brushed nickel which was a huge debate since we had just updated all the brass in our house/knobs with oiled bronze. But after reading tons of reviews about water stains and how hard the hardware is to keep clean we decided it would still look great with the brushed nickel without the upkeep issue:)

So there you have it, our guest room/little's bathroom remodel:) Now if only we had the cash to start the master bathroom remodel:) Until then, I will pin all the inspirational Pinterest photos I find:)

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

At least that is what I think is the cause of my days becoming a blur and my weeks flying by. Before little mister I felt like December had so many days and the build up to Christmas took awhile. It's so weird that once he came into my life, hours and days just began to fly by. So here we are just 2 weeks away from Christmas and I am not even half as organized as I would have liked to be at this time. 
Today was supposed to be filled with wrapping presents, mailing presents, buying presents and of course all the daily usual stuff of playing, loving and taking care of little mister:) However, here in the Pacific Northwest we are experiencing Arctic Blast 2013 (which by the way every year they name it something new......Storm chill 2012, Freeze storm 2011, etc) and well people just kind of freak out with snow here.
I love it. I love the snow. I love having a fire and having to stay in once in awhile. Hot chocolate and egg nog are bought and I have another excuse to procrastinate about shopping, mailing, and wrapping...oh well I guess I can still wrap:)
But in any case, Mr. Big Dog is working from home this morning. He made me a fire and I am just chillaxing as little mister is down for his morning nap.
Somedays you just need to slow down.....for there are so many other days where you won't be able to, can't or won't. So today I will and I will enjoy it. And here is a picture just because:) 

Sunday, December 8, 2013

This year I have a 13 month old to share Christmas with, which is so awesome. As our little family is beginning to start our own new traditions and try to incorporate come old ones from each side into our annual rotation. I realized for the past 5 or so years I really love to send out Christmas cards with pictures.
Prior to Mr. Big Dog and I, my cards had a picture of my dogs or house. But now that we have a little mister it is a great time to show off how much he's grown over the past year to family and friends near and far.
So I've been keeping my eyes open to ideas on Pinterest for this year's holiday card......
I came across this photo on Pinterest

Here's the link you get on pinterest when you click on the photo: give credit where credit is due:)

And then we did our own version which little mister really hammed it up for as you can see:)

He seriously loves this little car he got from his cousins for his first big birthday:)

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Well I have my house about 98% decorated with my usual Christmas stuff. However, this year with a 13 month old I have to say the decor is all above waist height and we are still learning the tree is not a toy. I am thinking 2-3 days of serious surveillance at all times around trees one and two will probably help little mister with the look don't touch policy in our home:) Either way I didn't do a lot of ornaments down low, as to not tempt the poor boy too much. They are just so pretty right?

I was on of my oh so guilty pleasures..... and found this oh so awesome picture/link for a chalkboard poster with some Christmas flare. I loved it and thought, "I think I can do it, I do have a bachelors hard can it be?"

I think I have shared before how creative my mother is......she can make a paper bag look like a million bucks. But I think this has caused my creativity to be very very low. I mean like dependent on others low. I can find ideas but have a hard time materializing them. And then when I try to do them, it can turn into a Lucy Ball skit in about 10secs flat. 

Take for example this project. The printing was done over the Internet via Staples....but I showed up and one was ripped at the I had to wait to have another printed. No biggie just not smooth as butter. Next stop the Home Creepo where I found the Styrofoam sheets which were 4 feet by 8feet for $11. Nice....but how in world was I going to fit it in my car? Didn't really think this through. So I had to find an employee to help me cut it in half (note to self to bring a box cutter in my diaper bag next time). Which the man with the orange apron seems extremely annoyed by my request and really was quick and careless with cutting it:( Oh well I had slack on each side since the finished product was actually to be 4 feet by 3 feet. So again out to my car I went with my two sections of 4 x 4 Styrofoam and 13 month old toddler. Did I mention it was cold and rainy? Oh yeah that too. At this point I am starting to freak out that it's not going to fit even at half size in my SUV with a baby car seat. I call Mr. Big Dog and start to panic a little......why did I not borrow his ginormous SUV? That would have been too simple. 

So as I push and pull and twist the Styrofoam they barely made it in, but they were in....just a little bent:( And of course little mister did not appreciate the intrusion on his space above his head. 
Now Michael's next door for the glue and out with my coupon. But why did I not go there first? I should have mapped this out better. 

All the way home I realize I didn't get black duct tape:( This is why I should not DIY in and of itself. I just can't seem to get it together. 
24 hours later I am taping and gluing the paper and I do have a nicely finished project:) Ginormous.....who's idea was this 4x3 anyway? But it all worked out and I love it on my wall. 

Maybe practice makes perfect and I just don't do this stuff often enough but I have a hard time believing if I did this stuff more often it would work out any different. It still works out, I just take twice the time and learn a ton of lessons every single time:) 

Saturday, November 23, 2013

For those of you not down with the lingo, SAHM is short for Stay at home Mom....or like I like to say mama. And I can officially say it's been a year into this new adventure of being a mama, and a 98% of the time at home mama so I have earned the official title of SAHM.

Blood, sweat and tears I have earned it. And reflecting on it and still being up to my elbows in it....I can say it is still an adjustment.

 It has been a year since I took this 180 degree turn. Or really I should say drop kick flip of changing from being a full time critical care nurse to SAHM. I was recovering patients straight out of open heart surgery and helping to bring them back to a walkie/talkie state three times a week for 12 hours a day. I was part of caring for patients with newest and latest technology of heart support of LVADs and new valves begin replaced practically as outpatients with the TAVR procedure.

I mean I was breathing, eating and thinking about work ALL THE TIME. And loving it. Really thriving in my career that I build over 13 years from newbie nurse to a much kinder, loving version of nurse ratchet;) And I was good at it. Really good if I must say for myself. I excelled in the most chaotic situations and my skills were respected by my coworker and plenty of doctors:)

I can say I found my calling as a nurse. I really loved it and still do....but it is definitely not the same kind of love a year later. It's definitely an itch I have to scratch on a regular basis or I get a little nutty and start to feel mentally just a little off. There is nothing like a shift working at my new nursing job to just get my mental juices going and help me connect back to my pre baby calling, even if now it's just for 8 hours once a week.

But it is just sooooo different to be on the team of SAHM. I love taking care of little mister morning noon and night. Even when it's rough, like exhausting whining molar time over the past couple weeks, it's still just where I want to be. I am loving it but like I said, it is so different that it is an ongoing adjustment for me.

It's been hard to relate to my friends because frankly none of them have done what I am doing. Most are full time nurses with kids for a number of reasons. And I think they don't really know what I do all day to be honest with you. Just like I have no idea how they do IT ALL, it's just hard to understand one another's place right now.
The other moms I have met recently through MOPS (Mothers of preschool aged kids for more of your lingo learning),  and well they have been doing either 1)the SAHM thing since the beginning 2) had a short lived career prior to children 3) or NONE of them were ever nurses...which we are are own subgroup of different people:). So it's just hard to really have anyone who can relate to my struggles of adjustment and even what I love about it.

So don't take this post as a "I miss my old job, boo hoo," that's not what it is at all. It's more of a recognition that I am in a new role. And it's been a year and oh how I've changed.
This year has been great. I have loved every minute of it and I wouldn't change a single second, however it is still a life I am getting use to. There is no rule book or real job description from as far as I can tell. Some days I look around and just can't believe it's my life. I love it all, the good the bad and the ugly. And I guess that's what I am realizing. No one said it was going to be easy and it's not:) I am still getting use to all of it.....emotionally, mentally, financially, etc.
I love watching little mister change daily before my eyes. I have been right here to witness all of it which is pretty awesome and not something I ever want to take for granted. But I am definitely just a little sapling in the world of motherhood. And I think realizing that is the best thing a new mom an do.

You can't learn to walk without crawling first, even little mister can attest to that. And you definitely can't do a 180 degree drop kick and expect all the kinks to be worked out within the first 12 months. But I'm getting there, we are getting there, and I wonder how many other women are out there working on the same transition?

Monday, November 18, 2013

Life goes in spurts of over busy, overt booked times and then wains to flat periods of boredom. At least for us this seems to be the case. We are either going 80mph or snail crawling. And this month and the next are both redlining starting pretty much this week through January 1st.

Family, work, shopping, pregnancy, you name it and it's in full effect. And sometimes it's really easy to just get caught up in all of it. To look back and realize you participated in something like a milestone birthday and it was already a month ago. Or that it's been  month since you've physically seen your bestie. Maybe it's been a month since you said you would take a break and just slow down...and now here you are still on the roller coaster just trying to hold on even tighter.

It's life. And no matter how organized and preplanned we make it you can't slow it down. And I guess  what I am realizing is sometimes you have to preplan the quiet time. You have to purposeful with doing nothing. With scheduling nothing. You have to plan to just be.

Which is really hard but I am realizing more and more how much my little family needs it to be deliberate.

How fast this time goes by that you have to plan to have that breather to just take it all in.

Call it family night, family day, or maybe it's dinner time. Whatever it is, I want to know I have it when times get so busy so I can look forward to it or just know it's coming.
Just my thoughts as I get on this roller coaster for the next two months.....which by the way I do love:) I love the business and of course the holidays......I just wish there were more hours in the day and more days in the week.....and more of me to do it all:)

Friday, November 15, 2013

Funny how things you never really give much thought to can now throw my little family into a tailspin over night. We are new parents. I get it. I get it. Everything is new when it comes to little mister. I don't know anything. I am learning. I am adjusting and just when I think I know.....I get slapped with a big fat glass of 'Oh no you do not know.' And maybe that is what half the battle is. To realize you are always learning and adjusting and perfecting this dance of parenthood. Your relationship with your husband is changing, your friendships are weathering this storm of your new role, and even family who has experience with your journey firsthand through their own eyes are watching you climb this mountain.

I tried to anticipate the time change here at our home with a little preplanning. I mean, little mister likes to get up at 4am was not sounding like a good idea to anyone involved. So in this house we like to try hard and when it's hard...why not make it even harder? We thought why don't we shoot for 6am now, since 5 was even too early! Yes, yes, lets do that. The numbers penciled out and all sounded great on paper. So over a couple week period before the time change we started our mission. And yes it was working, and yes we were all adjusting and yes it was glorious.

 And then....the molar started. My poor little man at just barely 12 months (which I know every baby is different, but this is early per books and our pediatrician) he started to get his first gigantic molar.

Up all night on and off, despite Motrin and mommy to soothe him. Dragged into bed with mommy and daddy at 5am to try to just get a little more sleep before the day begins. And then all day crankiness, fussiness and clinginess. Poor little man. His sleep schedule was a mess. He was a mess. And then the seas parted and the tooth seems to crown through. He was tired enough to sleep though the night and his naps during the day were marathon like in length. He was happy again. And all was good in the hood. He was back to himself. We started to get our sea legs back with schedules and bedtimes. It was settling out and my confidence in this motherhood gig was being reaffirmed.  I was thinking, " whew that was close but I did it, we survived the molar," " but many do you have? 4 molars? And this was just one. Oh no, when will the others come?

The second has started with 2 other side teeth on the bottom aka his lateral incisors.....back on the roller coaster we go. But at least I know the ride and I know the end will be here at some point.
So again....... this life, this moral to the story of parenthood, of motherhood.....I don't know anything.

I think my motto continues to be "roll with the punches".... or should I say "roll with the molars."
What else can you do? God only gives you as much as you can handle at a time.....but really more than one molar at a time would have been preferred:)
I envy so many mothers who say they couldn't even tell their littles were getting teeth....we feel them here loud and clear and by we I mean everyone under this roof:)  

Thursday, November 7, 2013

It's pouring outside right now, winter is showing herself pretty loudly this morning. I like this time of the year for chowders, baked breads and spaghetti dinners. I like lighting candles and wearing my slippers almost all day long. I love lazy weekend mornings with breakfast together as a family. It's just nice.

What's not so nice is Little Mister has been getting 3 new teeth this past week and a half and one of which was a molar:( Poor baby, not sleeping good and just not himself. And just went I started to think the fussy upset sleep deprivation wasn't going to did. He is sleeping soundly now for his morning nap as I write this. His feet sticking through the railings on his red crib. He cuddles with his favorite blanket that I need to order a second one of because frankly it is already starting to smell like little boy no matter how many times I wash it.

He's sweet. This season is sweet. Winter is coming and our calendar is full to the max from now through the new year.

I can't even remember my life before this. What did I do? I know I was not half the person and that I didn't have half the happiness for sure. Even at it's worst, I can say it's the best thing ever.

Little baby number two is a mover and shaker like her/his brother for sure. It likes to put on a show usually in the afternoon. Mr. Big Dog has felt it a couple times and little mister thinks it's funny to point to the belly and say "bay" which he also does to himself.

Off to do as much as I can before he gets back up for round two of playing, reading books and running through the house:)

Monday, October 28, 2013

One of my girlfriends once said to me, "I really don't know what I did before I had my little girl," "what I did with all my time, what I really enjoyed, because now she fills my days and I can't imagine life without her."
At the time I remember thinking that I just didn't get it. I mean I worked full time, I liked to shop, run, you know do "stuff." However, now a year into this mommy gig and I totally understand what she meant. He fills my days and then some. I can't imagine really a day without him at this point. I mean don't get me wrong, I like having days to run errands without him or a movie night with Mr. Big Dog. I just can't imagine how my life would feel fulfillment-wise without him. He is just like a little puzzle piece I didn't realize was missing.

So yesterday he turned a whole year old. I know! Already he is a year old. I had a good cry yesterday morning just looking through pictures and hoping I have been deliberate and present enough with him this past year. He's so much more a little boy than my baby by the day. He is sweet and loving but all boy at the same time. He loves books and banging anything to make a loud noise. He's walking and really running everywhere throughout the house. He loves to be outside.

He was made perfectly for Mr. Big Dog and I.....and just like everyone says the time with him flys by and the next thing you know they are grown. So I am continuing to take it all in everyday and love every minute....even then new stubbornness for independence and the occasional tantrum:)
Happy Birthday My little Honeyman...... you are so loved;)

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Life has been a little hectic. Baby number two has been making my whole body feel tired and out of sorts. Exhausted really until the last week or so. Mr. Big dog is helpful as usual but he has been slammed at the office and life is just full swing busy. Until this last weekend when we took a spontaneous much needed break to the beach. Little mister felt the sand for the first time and fearlessly ran to the ocean:) it was just what we needed. Like a deep breath, I think it helped us to just take a minute and really take it all in.

It renewed my gratitude for this life I've been given and that I'm living. Sometimes all you need is a little wind in your hair, sand between your toes, and of course a cute little soon to be one year old to keep you smiling:) Can you believe he's almost one??!!!!!

Saturday, September 7, 2013

Well I see yet again it's been a month since I have written a word on these pages. Not that I haven't wanted to or thought about it, life just gets so busy.
Isn't that the truth? Life gets busy. Does life ever really get slow? I think back to elementary school when summers lasted forever and college when winter break seemed like months. I remember wanting to hurry up to get through parts of my life like counting down the days until I could get my ears pierced (my dad had a rule about it) and then of course my drivers license ( I was there on my birthday first test of the day!).
Looking back there was a lot of rushing to grow up and get to the next level. The next age, stage, and step my life was going toward.
Now I just feel like hours fly by, days turn into weeks, and I blink and summer's gone and fall is in the air here in the Pacific Northwest.
My little baby is turning more and more into a little boy before my eyes. He wants to feed himself, he is almost there with walking, he sometimes even leaps out of my arms for his crib as if to say "mom I got this, I don't need the rocking anymore thanks." Everyone said it would fly by but until you're in it, you really can't relate.
I cherish so many moments throughout our day. His little personality is really shinning though more and more. He loves his daddy and I have heard him say "da da" to Mr. Big Dog a handful of times. He loves to eat and play hard. He climbs on everything. He is truly full of life. He dances to any music and is always smiling....really at anyone who will make eye contact. The grocery store is always entertaining and he gets tons of people wanting to talk to him and play peekaboo or just compliment him on his smile.

It's just funny how life changes. From endless countdowns and wanting to hurry's like with a blink I just want to slow down and maybe even repeat last month. He's already 10 months old....I am saying this with a wimpier :(

Monday, August 5, 2013

The way I feel is 90% stay at home mom and 10% nurse. I work one day a week currently and that day I spend the morning with little man and leave around 2pm....missing his evening and bedtime but then home for him the next morning. This has been the format since late March. I was off from work for 7 months prior to March. 7 months. 7 months. 7 months. And frankly it was hard going back after 7 months. I felt and still feel rusty. With one day a week it's hard to really get my footing back where it was quickly.
It's hard when you have been something for 11 years full time. And not to toot my own horn by I was pretty good at it if I may say so myself. I just feel like I'm running on 80% of my old self when it comes to working as a nurse. It's there but sometimes feels like I'm moving in slow motion or trying to do it all left handed. Awkward and uncomfortable at times I am still finding my way with the balance.
When something has been such a huge part of your life and you were good at's just hard to realize it's not going to be anywhere close to the same. And I really don't want to have the opposite balance. I don't want to the equation to have me fumbling even more with motherhood than I already am as a first timer.
But it's bittersweet. I know I am my worst critic. I am the hardest on myself. I want my cake and eat it too.
So I'll keep on with the one day a week for now, which I am loving even if it's sometimes a struggle:) And of course the other 6 days get better by the second...even with teeth 5 and 6 and a side of a cold:( He's still my favorite job of all....

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Disclaimer: This picture has nothing to do with this post. I just thought it was adorable and really shows his happy morning person attitude:) This is his typical 6am wake up face:)

Anyways, there is this walking/running trail across from our house. It's about a 3 mile loop start to end. It has a creek, patches of open fields, parts that are tree covered, and then this pond at the end. I run it sometimes in the morning with little man in his stroller. Sometimes in the afternoon when he is boycotting a nap. Sometimes by myself when Mr. Big Dog is playing with little man.

It helps me reboot. It helps me clear my mind. It helps me to settle any restlessness I may be struggling with.
On the way I pass under some power lines and I hear them snap and flicker with all the neighbors turning on lights and running their dishwashers, etc. Makes my mind wander to my broken I am hand washing everything until Tues when the new part comes. Thank goodness for warranties. But really it's not a huge deal in the grand scheme of things right? So many people are battling much bigger issues. Then I feel my feet hitting the ground step by step, my hips and knees feeling the impact of my weight slamming them step by step as I get further and further from my front door. This is the hardest part....starting. I am winded, and I start to get a side ache in my right side.
Why don't I eat better? My mind goes through the list of not so good fuel I have put into my body over the past 24 hours. But then I think "oh well at least you are out here," so many people would be if they could be. And I keep on and put on some music if I'm by myself like this morning.
I try to let my mind rest and focus on the trail and the song playing. Today I'm listening to one of my old play list.....everything from Lady A to Sugarland.
And then as usual I listen to my breathing, my feet and the music and I just take it all in.
I am fortunate for this life. For my health, my baby's health, and all the little things I take for granted
sometimes. My Mr. Big Dog and how he loves his own alone time with little man.
I say a little prayer and thank God for it all....and I feel a weight lift off my shoulders. I run freely and tell myself "look at you, you make it look easy, you could do this all day, why don't you do a half marathon, that would only be like 2 hours, what are you going to make for dinner?, will Jonah do okay in the church nursery today?" How quickly my mind turns back into chaos. I attempt to turn it off again....the air feels good at 6:30am, not too hot not too cold. I breath deep and before I know it I am heading back toward the house. My breathing is less labored and my side ache subsided. It's just me and the trail and my mind if quiet. I am thinking about nothing.
The last quarter mile is again hard and my body feels heavier than it has the past 25 mins. I start to try to push myself with one liners like " this is the last 5 mins and then you're not going to do this again until at least tomorrow," "come on you're almost done don't stop," and so on.

I realized we talk to ourselves so much it's exhausting, sometimes we purposefully listen and sometimes we don't. But the chatter is constant. And sometimes you just have to turn in off and just be.
Funny but at the end of run I think it's the easiest for me to do just that. Just to be.......even if it's just until my body rests and catches it's breath once I get back home. I just can be.
Just enough time to take it all in before life gets busy again....until the next run.

Just my mind this Sunday morning.....

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

I have come to realize every single day I learn something. It may not be something huge but it's something. And I may take this for granted more often than not...but tonight I have a sense of gratitude for so much in my life.
This past week our little family took our first real trip together. Mr. Big Dog and I got married a year and a half ago....and met about a year and a half before that as you remember. But I had never been to his hometown with him and he had not been to mine....until recently. 
We went to Alaska. Big, Giant, Huge, Wild, Beautiful Alaska. I got to see his childhood home, which his parents still live in. I got to meet friends who really are family to him. I got to share my son with tons of people as well as watch him get spoiled from sun up to sun down by his grandparents. 
And all in all I really just sat on the sidelines and tried to take it all in. I looked at baby pictures of my husband, listened to him reminisce about how he grew up and became the man who I now share a home with. The times he got into trouble, the times he won awards, and a lot of the memories he made in Alaska.  I watched his parents play and love on our son, just taking time to really get to know him with what time we all had together on this visit. 
And through all of this, I started to think about how taking Mr. Big Dog's last name did not necessarily mean his parents had to love me or really even try to get to know me. 
Mr. Big Dog and my relationship developed and evolved at freight train speed and the distance between Vancouver, Washington and Alaska is not exactly close. It has been a conscious decision to really get to know each other.....myself with his parents and vice versa. 
And I guess I really came to feel this past week that his parents have welcomed me into their lives so lovingly.....when they really didn't have to. They have put in hours of effort to get to know me with trips to Portland, phone calls, emails, and with our new technology... sometimes Skype. It just hit me with an overwhelming gush that they really do consider me family. I am now part of their family. Not just with a last name, but with the way we are around each other. It's just becoming more and more comfortable like a nice pair of jeans. And I mean that in the most respectful loving way. Not brand new where you have to suck in your gut, but they are starting to fit better and be a little more relaxed.
Maybe it's from becoming a parent recently myself.....but our relationship just made me realize how much they love Mr. Big Dog. And of course I share that love.  And when you love someone so much you put in effort and work on things that are an important part of developing relationships with certain people.
So tonight I am grateful for my father and mother in law, who I continue to get to know visit by visit. But tonight I also feel like I understand at a much deeper level what it is to love a child throughout his/her life....and into adulthood.
I am thankful for their love and support. I am thankful for the effort they put into everything they do for us.
Our trip was amazing in many deeper than you'll ever know kinda ways;) 

Sunday, June 23, 2013

I was talking with another "first timer" (also know as newbie mommy) the other day and as we exchanged all of our worries, frets and most importantly our excitement over our new little guys firsts.
First smiles for her, first longer periods of sleep, first fussy afternoons for who knows what reason, etc. And my little bossman's first stair climbing, climbing up on EVERYTHING, and maybe just maybe a little sign language he didn't even know he was doing:) Wishful mommy here;)
As we talked I started to realize all of his firsts are bittersweet. Some of them are the turning point of many of his lasts.
His time he used his "recliner" (the bouncy chair), the last time I breastfed him, the last time he even squealed at our Big doggie because now the novelty has worn off and he's become part of the decor, the last time he played with certain toys......every single day he is growing and changing. We celebrated his mimicking MAMA last night at dinner and he is loving trying every kind of big people real food we eat. But there is this little part of me that cringes as he grows so fast. Just like everyone said it would happen I know I will blink and he'll be in kindergarden.
I cherish all of his first but I am also cherishing so many little lasts. He is growing up just like he is suppose to:) My little baby is becoming a little boy before my eyes. He's still cuddly and sweet and wants his mama only sometimes, but he's all boy with banging wooden spoons on bowls and waiting till you turn your back for just a second for him to B-line it to the stairs and see how far he can get before you catch him.
He even makes playful eyes at you as you chase him up the few stairs he has conquered:)  His personality continues to grow and shine through for everyone to see. I think I'll keep him for sure:)

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Noun: One's Father. 
Synonyms: daddy-papa-father-pa-pop-poppa

Really that's all the dictionary really says? Kind of funny that such an important title really only gets a one liner in the dictionary. When I thought about what I wanted in my baby's father it was pretty simple. Unconditional love....check, respect....check, and an overall desire to want to be a dad....check for sure. I make is sound easy but really I just knew when I met Mr. Big Dog he would be great for me and my unborn children. We were on the same page with so many things, likes/interests, and children were definitely one of those things. 

Mr. Big Dog is my perfect other half. He makes me see the other side of things. He picks up where I lack. He is my missing puzzle piece for sure. But there was no way I was prepared for the father he would be, and now IS everyday before my eyes. 
His love is so genuine. His excitement to spent time with Jonah overwhelms the room sometimes. His patients and kindness always constant like the sun rising in the morning. His smile and engaging interaction with our little man really is infectious. 

He is a role model, a playmate, and is ever challenging our son and myself to be our best. Whether it's congratulating Jonah's newest milestone or asking me what the plan is for the week...he is well......he's on our TEAM. He is constantly participating in a childhood for Jonah where memories will be made, laughs shared and the best of him and his qualities will be shared. 
He is an awesome dad.....but he is really so much more, he's Jonah's dad which is just so perfect.  

Happy Father's Day to all of you out there.... I know we had a great day here and I'm sure the years will bring many many more:) 

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Well my little man is already 6 1/2 months old. Can you believe it? It flew by and all of the sudden I looked in the mirror and realized I AM this little boy's mother. This moment I had was surreal.  Like when you first get your driver's license and you are by yourself driving.....or when you moved into your first house as an adult, the first night you spent by yourself in it. It's this moment of.......really? I can't believe it! I am a mother...and I am THIS little boy's mother!!!which is the cherry on top. Some days I feel like I need to pinch myself because I just can't believe it still.

Asleep on the way to "our" weekly Saturday swim lessons......just a power nap before action time.

Back to being a mother.......
I don't think anyone or anything can prepare you for what it truly is to be a mother. I had no idea I would love someone so much and do absolutely anything for him. I didn't know I would have trouble sleeping if the night was extra cold outside just because I would worry he was too cold.....requiring me to sneak into his room and check the temperature. Or that I would rearrange my daily schedule just to let him sleep an extra 20mins soundly in his crib. I didn't know my Saturday night highlight would be giving him a bath and rocking him to sleep in my arms to a Disney lady and the tramp song until he gave me his unspoken cue of eye rubbing and a perfect yawn to say let's get me to my crib please.

I didn't know any of this.....but I always knew I was meant to be a mother. I just didn't know it would be of a baby made so perfectly for just for me.

When I was probably 3 months into motherhood I saw this commercial and fell to tears. I remember telling Mr. Big Dog in a blubbering mess of hormones that the TV was speaking to me. Which is funny now. Definitely not at the time...but now yes it is funny.
And I still have days where I feel like I am not very good at this mom gig, but those days are becoming fewer and farther between. I just tell myself to try again tomorrow at the end of the night, and I am trying to let go of being so hard on myself all the time.

The thing is.....I know I have earned this mother's day just like all of you other mother's out there.  And for that I am proud. I do what I do everyday because I love him and want the best for him.

And to really make it a first Mother's Day to remember we are going to run our first 5k together:) Our 5k with my little man in his stroller will be tomorrow at 830am and it's called Run like a Mother.

So happy Mother's Day to all of you out are all amazing, even when you really don't feel like it........ you are doing something extraordinary:)

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

I never never never really thought about how Mr. Big Dog would be as a father. 
I mean of course I knew he would be good, but it's amazing how really natural and great he is at being a Daddy. Jonah lights up when he comes home and even just when he walks into the room. He looks for him when he hears his voice. He has started wrestling with him which is adorable. 

But Mr. Big Dog is so much more. He is the best teammate a girl could dream of. He helps do whatever needs to get done. He supports me with anything I need and then some. He provides for our little family. He was born to do this husband daddy thing:)
And yes, I have become one of "those people" who just talks about how awesome my baby and husband are, but you know what? They are:)
Don't get me wrong this motherhood stuff is not for the weak at heart, and I have days where I feel like I am failing at all of it. It's hard, much harder than I ever imagined. But my point is with these two on my team, I know we will get it all done and have fun doing whatever it is.
I am overwhelmed with gratitude pretty much constantly now:) I am content and happy, oh and soooo busy that I have been neglecting this blog:( But I have a great excuse.....see below:)

Monday, February 4, 2013

Jonah is so sweet I can just stare at him and he makes me smile. His smile is contagious and very frequent. You can see him learning and taking this whole new world in second by second.
The other day he giggled for the first time and I thought I might cry, so stinking adorable.
He's already 3 months old!!!
The days have turned into weeks and weeks into's just flying by.
And I am just trying to take it all in.......

Know us

Our Team

Video of the Day

Contact us


Email *

Message *