Tuesday, March 31, 2015

People all over the place are fighting some kind of battle right? Unemployment, infertility, loss of some kind or another. Life is hard sometimes, and sometimes it seems like all the negative things are happening at the same time or back to back.
Our household has been sick on and off, but pretty much on since New Years eve. Mr. Big Dog's work has been heavy. I have been seeing how two days a week working at my big girl job as a nurse feels and works with our little family since February. And littlest mister turned ONE last week (more on that in another post). It's been busy as life is and can be. Really I like busy. I like having a little bit of chaos. I'm one of those people who functions better with more on my plate. Give me one thing and I may never get it done, give me 15 and they'll be done by noon. Just how I'm made.

But what I am not made for, what I am not good at, what I do not enjoy, is being held back and down.

I like to participate and not be on the sidelines. I like to help and not be helped. I like to give and not take so much. And I really don't like having this be the situation with my two little guys being my primary job everyday. I stay home 95% and when I'm down it doesn't work well for our TEAM.

A week ago I spend the day in the ER with an angry gallbladder and then yesterday had to have it taken out. Did I also say nurses and probably mothers are the worst patients? Well we are. The procedure was easy peasy quick down and dirty, but the recovery not so much. I'm suppose to relax, take a load off, recuperate.

But all I can think of is all that needs to be done, all I can't do, and how much I don't want to make any lemonade. A pity party you can call it. Which I hope is dissipating as I put these words online here. I need an attitude adjustment or a magic wand, and I really think a wand is never gonna happen.

So maybe I'll actually write more with this forced horrible vacation......maybe GOD thinks I need this forced break.....so here's to lemonade :)

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