It's been 4 years since my family changed forever. And I looked hard at that tonight. Really hard. Look how far we have all come. Look how great it is that I can go out and meet my mom for dinner on a Friday night here in Portland, when I never thought she would move here. Instead of a phone call to Reno, Nevada I get to see her face to face.
Look how we all dusted ourselves off and continued. Maybe with a couple bandaids in place, but we're still walking and talking.
We are tough women in my family. Really. When life gives us lemons we're not all talk, we really make lemonade. My mom adds a little umbrella to it, my sister markets it for a business plan, and so far I just drink it but you get my drift.....
My sister amazes me everyday. She has her little family, my sweet nephew who she is fabulous with and then to add a cherry to the top they are about to do a beautiful thing and adopt a child from Ethiopia. My mom now lives here and can actually driver herself without getting lost from Vancouver to North Portland, which alone amazes me. And she works two jobs and still has time for cookie baking. She started over and you would think she's lived here for 20 years. All with a smile on her face.
As for me I have about 5 pokers in the fire at the moment just pushing to see where my path will take me.
I guess my point is that everything is just so different than what I would have ever expected, but perfect at the same time.
I hate to say it, but I always knew I would be at the place I am at now. I knew in my heart, I knew with all my mind that I would not stay married to him forever. Sad but true, but I guess I just wanted to ride that ride while it lasted. Ride that ride until it stopped. Weird how I knew it but I did it anyway. I think part of it was just to try to force my own family, when everything else was falling apart.
But today is a little bit of a celebration. I finished a huge project:). And most importantly..... I realized I am really okay.
And the people I love are okay. They are really okay. They are unbreakable strong people and I love them for that.
Everyone is okay, which makes me more okay in a sick twisted empathetic kind of way;) And everyday I am a little bit stronger...