I have a girlfriend who told me if I wanted to find a good man I needed to write down everything I wanted in one. That I needed to be purposeful and really think about it.
So in a playful moment with her I wrote my list down a couple months ago. It was really just a game or distraction to my everyday woes at the time. I really wanted to fast forward through the tough part of my divorce. The everyday occurrence of the panicky thought that I would be alone forever was constant even though very irrational.
So here's my list.....
Considerate and thoughtful
Smart but not arrogant or too nerdy (aka boring)
Communicative (I'm not a mind reader so I like to know what you're thinking).....definite requirement
Must love dogs, do I really need to explain this
Financially stable, preferably with a job he likes and enjoys
Supportive of whatever I want to do even if he doesn't agree with it (and this also covers not being intimidated by the strong independent woman I am :) )
Loving, kind, and a lot of fun
Just someone I can be myself with. Which I realized was a serious issue with my past relationship.
After I wrote it all out I put it on my fridge....and I would just look at it every once in awhile.
It's not an unrealistic list, I think it is actually pretty well rounded.
What's funny is that I didnt' realize how fast I might find one:) So don't ask and put it out there unless you're ready for it to land in your lap ;)
After my divorce, I had been dating and was really disappointed. I then made a list and put it in my spice cabinet. When i had dated (who is now my husband) after three dates i checked the list and he hit everything. Now 12 years later I fall more in love with him everyday. you are so right with putting it out to the universe. :)
ReplyDeleteInteresting post..
ReplyDeleteWhen I was in college, I took a theology of marriage class.. one of the homework assignments was to write a list of your dream guy.. well.. I did.. however, it didn't match my current bf.. who later became my husband, who then became my ex-husband... Funny that it always bothered me that he didn't fit those, but I always told myself it would work out no matter what.. Now I'm dating a guy that fits everything I put on there.. so strange!
I'm glad I'm not the only one!
The secret....... ;)
ReplyDeleteHey, Lindz... I just read your MOM's post like this on her blog, and came to read yours. I LOVE that you've already seen results from this list! You deserve everything you put on your list, darlin', and a lifetime of happiness with the right guy.
ReplyDeleteNow, how long are we givin' your mom for her Mr. Perfect to show up? A week? ;0)
- Deb Kennedy