Saturday, May 14, 2011

Crystal ball round two.....


"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who have loved him"
-1 Corinthians 2:9

I read this a lot the first couple of months into my new life. I had faith that everything happens for a reason and there was something much much better waiting for me at the end of this journey...... but with that being said you also have heard me talk about the crystal ball and how I would die for one. Not anymore.

If someone had sat me down a exactly a year ago and said "your life is going to be 180 degrees different, much better and happier then you could have every dreamed, and you'll be riding 75 miles on a bike" I would have keeled over. Literally, I would have bocked at them, probably called them a liar, or laughed hysterically. And honestly, I would not have for a second been able to truly feel or understand the magnitude of how great it really would be. Words would not have been enough and actually words are still not enough.

Today I conquered an amazing feet and goal, I road 75 miles with my team. I can not lie that I did not want to go this morning. I wanted to stay in bed and wallow in my post migraine hangover. I did NOT feel good.
But Mr.Big Dog came to the rescue (another amazing blessing in my life:) ). He pushed Team Lindsey and motivated (I mean dragged) me from my bed. He lovingly force fed me a banana/oatmeal/protein drink and pushed me toward the car.
As I drove to the starting point I began to think.....who am I? Really who is this woman? So much of the original me has returned but I have added a renovation and addition to boot.
I have pushed myself so far physically with this bike ride I feel like anything is possible. I feel and now know that I can do anything. I don't care if it sounds cocky but I AM a force to be reckoned with. I am determined, empowered and fearless. And I know my faith in God having a plan for me is a huge part of why I have come so far in such a short amount of time. I am not saying this is an easy thing but any means, but how can you not see God working everyday? In the weather, in my mom getting a job, in me not getting into graduate school? You can see what you want to see, but I see nothing but positive higher power working. How else could I possibly ride 75 miles?

I am blessed to have people in my life that have supported me through this past year, and thankful for the new people who have been part of my transformation.
And the biggest part of this day, the biggest part of this moment is the realization that I should be proud of myself and I should share it.
My old self, my old pitiful self would down play what I have been through. She would have not even attempted half of it and then she would not have shared her accomplishments because she didn't want to make HIM feel badly about himself. I know this doesn't make any sense, but that is how I lived. Responding and acting out of how someone else would take it or feel.

So I am not shouting from the roof tops, thanking God, and smiling ear to ear because I KNOW everything happens just like it is suppose to....just like God wants it to.
And I am ready for my 100 mile bike ride in 3 weeks. I am ready and I am going to squash it! :)
PS: if you zoom in on the photo you just may see a little dot at the top of that hill....it's me:)

4 comments:

  1. Amen! God is good and always with us. Can't wait to see you in the BIG 100 mile event.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have followed you blog all year. You are an inspiration. Thank you so much for sharing all the ups, downs, ups ..

    - Joy

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh. My. Gawd! When I click on the photo, and click again to enlarge...I see a speck that most certainly MUST be you!You are my hero.
    You are amazing, Hunny Bunny!
    Your Mama

    ReplyDelete
  4. You are amazing. . Nothing is better than realizing your own power and strength.
    Rock on sista.

    ReplyDelete

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