Sunday, August 21, 2011

You can't pick your family

Family is not a choice. There really is no freedom in it what so ever. I mean, I know you can love people like family but really I am talking about immediate- born into-share a name-family.
I have been thinking about this a lot lately. And I think we are born into families for a lot of different reasons. One reason is to have a concrete attachment to people. An attachment that no matter how hard you try or how far to move, they will always be connected to you. Connected by blood and the same genes, they are part of you. And most of the time, even when you don't get along you are forced to because of this attachment. I can remember growing up having childish disagreements with my sister and brother but always knowing they would resolve because I have an unexplainable bond with them. They are my family and I unconditionally love them. There is nothing either of them could do to ever change that, nothing.
Another reason I think we are born into these family units is to have companionship. I mean, no one can relate to you like a sibling. You endured the same ups and downs life brought along growing up, you share parents and usually houses. So even though different you share so much. There is something especially unique about a relationship with a sister or a brother. Again, this is not a choice...but rather a commitment. You are in each other's life forever, where you want to be or not. You may not talk or see one another for stretches at a time...but each knows the other is there. And I would like to think (optimistically) that no matter what turmoil or disagreement...you would still be there for one another. That blood is thicker and stronger then the worst fights, the worst situations, and the toughest of times. That really when it is all said and done, God attaches you to these special people because you DO need one another. Everyone needs someone who is somehow a part of them, whether it's a sibling, parent, cousin.....someone who shares something deeper than just a friendship or neighborhood. Someone you are part of and they are part of you. And together over years you learn from one another, depend on one another and grow together.
I didn't have a choice in picking any part of my family, but I can say with complete honesty I would pick them for myself if I had the choice.
Life is too short to not get along with family, and I'm telling you....in the end you will end up still connected with these people. You will end up needing them at some point and only they will do. So if you are not getting along with some part of your family, you might as well get over it and make up:) Because it will happen whether you like it or not, and holding anger and hate is just too exhausting. And they are your family for some deeper reason...you just might not know that reason yet:) Why else would they be YOUR family?

2 comments:

  1. I could not agree more. What's the saying, most often we regret the things we didn't do rather than the things we did...

    Thanks for the encouragement!
    Also - when you finally have time to read a book, I seriously think you'll like 'How to Love an American Man.' I do believe it's better than Eat, Pray, Love!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yep. We love each other inspite of ourselves and disagreements are just part of "family". I'm so glad I'm part of your family "My Pal".

    ReplyDelete

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