Learning the hard way when to put the brakes on

Before I was pregnant and before I had Jonah I had a severely unrealistic expectation of how my life would be after. I don't know why but I just pictured myself managing everything simultaneously without even breaking a sweat. Taking care of my little guy and then have dinner on the table, all the while maintaining part of my past career life on the side.

 I have always taken on too much, put too much on my plate so to speak. ALWAYS.

But when that plate is now shared with a little boy who needs you and really doesn't get to speak up and participate in the pile growing on the plate.....well things just get put into perspective very quickly.

I am a person of my word. But my word is beginning to smudge and run with trying to stretch myself too thin. My word is not becoming good for much, and before it completely disintegrates I need to do something.

I am suffering poorly at everything since I can not give any of it 100%. Jack of all trades, master of none....that's been me lately. My stubbornness has been in full force leading my poor decisions and not letting me truly face where my attention and time really needs to be. Since it would take me going back on my word to undo some of my plate pile.

But something snapped yesterday. I have to say goodbye to that old me of being a YES, YES, YES person. It's not just about me, it's about Jonah and my family. I've been distracted too often and not present with what is going on right in front of me.

So with embarrassment and humility I had to let go of something very big.
A project I was to be in charge of.
Mr. Big Dog encouraged me to pray about it......which I did, I took a big deep breath and let go. I jumped in and was honest with the people that needed to know. I told them the truth. I can't do it.

Part of me feels like a dog with my tail between my legs, but I have to say there is another huge part of me that feels like this weight has been lifted off my shoulders. And within the next month more and more of this weight will be let go until I am settled with just the things that matter most.

Sometimes putting the brakes on is just the best thing you can do......but really I should have never gotten into the car.

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Shout out to our fabulous friend and awesome photographer

I love love love all the photos we had taken at our home with Jonah when he was just a week old.
www.erikaplummer.com was our photographer and they are so beautiful. She was here all day and Jonah wasn't necessarily the best subject, especially when he pooped on Daddy:)

These are just and handful of my favorites:) And I'm having the hardest time deciding which ones to order:) Awwww, shut a bad dilemma to have:)

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Getting my footing

Geeze louise, Jonah is already3 weeks old!! I feel behind but can't seem to get anything done with the new little bossman running my house. I'm sure it's a common feeling from what I hear and have read. So I am going to let go and just enjoy the ride. I know he'll only be sooooo small for a short while. I know the baby book will still be there and the announcements will get ordered. But for today I am just going to cuddle and feed him, and really do whatever he wants;)

Time is flying and day to day I am still figuring out this new momma thing:) Everyday I feel like his little personality is shining more brightly and he's getting use to life on the outside in this crazy world. He's got this seriousness in eyes at times like he understands everything. And he's started cooing when his belly is full after one of our one on one breastfeeding sessions (btw breastfeeding has been my other full time job this past 3 weeks.....sooo hard!! But I think we have finally started to get it down).

So for now the blog will continue to be neglected.....for I am too busy loving my little bossman and trying to manage what I can...which currently not much:)

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Why Jonah?

Mr. Big Dog and I had several names for each a boy and a girl picked out since we opted to not find out what we were having. But Jonah was the only name that we really had a foundation behind...which is interesting since we ended up having a boy.

We had a couple signs with the name, like I have a childhood Jonah and the Whale sculpture in our family room and a church handout about Jonah and the whale, that  happen to be in the Bible when we decided to look at biblical names.

The deeper reason might be described as...  Jonah didn't listen to God a couple of times and each time was still forgiven and taken care of despite this.  This story applies to both of our lives and we anticipate it will also apply to our little Jonah.  We are not perfect by any means and even when we have messed things up, we have experienced God's quick forgiveness and blessings when sought.  We see our baby Jonah as one of those blessings Mr. Big Dog and I have received after facing our own storms and turning to God for help in the ocean of life.  Jonah happens to be our Whale :-)

So when our tank of a little man came out it became an obvious choice.

We have hopes and dreams for Jonah, but know there will be times in his life he will encounter his own battles and challenges. We know God will watch over him, as he has us.....

Plus look at what an angel he is:) He definitely came straight from Heaven:)

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And Then There Was Jonah

I am so blessed. I am so lucky. I am fortunate.

Jonah Matthew Rios came on Saturday October 27th, at 8:28pm. He was 9.9lbs, 21.5 inches long and practically climbed and crawled his way out into this world. His demeanor so far is strong and sweet. He seems to have this thoughtfulness behind his eyes like he's saying "yes I know you've been waiting for me, but you had things to do and so did I before I came."

His coming into this world was a true test of my physical endurance, my mental will power and honestly my trust in a power way higher than myself.

I love my husband more now than I ever thought humanly possible. He is so loving and selfless. He is so supportive and amazing. He is my other half.

God definitely does not disappoint in the not giving you more than you can handle department right now in our household. He gave my husband and I the thrill and scare of a lifetime within hours of Jonah's birth. We were humbled to ashes by him with a quick change in my body a couple hours after delivery and I was close to leaving my husband with a new baby on this Earth alone.

 From elated to scared in seconds, his power is so strong. He saved me within those next minutes/hours and continues to show me second to second how much Mr. Big Dog, little Jonah and I can handle together now as a family.

I'm physically weaker than I've ever been, but stronger spiritually than ever. I am grateful for my life, my husband and of course my new little man.

I had heard a baby really makes you stop to smell the roses......I couldn't agree more:)

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Overdue by 1 Long Day

Little Baby,

I don't know what to say. You must like it in there. You do seemed crammed, but at the same time you are able to stretch and move around from mommy's ribs to her hips so it must still feel good to you. Daddy and I can see you move from across the room in my tummy, so I know you are getting big in there. I never thought you'd be late with all the doctor appts we've had and all the progress you've made, not to mention the way my body seems so ready for you to come:)

So since your Daddy and I have been waiting for you over the past 3 long weeks we have done several things to try to get you to hurry up and also just to pass the time. 

1. We've eaten out at a nice restaurant and had a great date night, since we thought it might be the last time for awhile ( you were giving mommy so many contractions at the time). 

2. Daddy has done fall/winter yard clean up, gone to the dump, cleaned the gutters, you name it outside so he'll have time to just spend with you.

3. We cleaned out closets and cleaned the whole house.

4. Your grandparents have been in town for 2 weeks waiting for you:)

5. We even painted a room, ripped up carpet and took more cleaned out stuff to Goodwill.

6. We've walked, walked, walked, and walked some more....we're talking miles.

7. Spicy food has been eaten, pineapple by the pounds and so many relaxing hot baths I think I could chalk it up to several hours.

So this test of patience for us has been hard, but when you want to come we'll be here waiting (along with many many many other people who can't wait to see you and love you).

We can't wait:)
Love,
Mommy and Daddy xoxoxox

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Saying goodbye is always tough

Reason, Season, or Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

— Unknown

Ms. Ella Thomas passed away today just a month shy of turning 99 years old. She was a definitely a spitfire. She was kind, giving, thoughtful, and most importantly a dear friend of mine. She was definitely in my life for a reason, she taught me so much. We met when she was my neighbor in college, and she even became the subject of my geriatric project in nursing school:) She showed me how one person can have an impact on many many peoples lives and yet how much you are here on this earth to just live your own life:) 

I'll miss her. I already do. 

I'll miss our conversations about how much she experienced in her long lifetime....running water, electricity, cars (she told me once cars scared her at first and she would hide from them in the bushes off the road when they would come by)....but then how we could relate to each other over a milkshake just talking about our days triumphs and pitfalls and just life. 

I'm so appreciative she was in my life....even if it was for just a season.

PS The picture is and oldie but a goodie:) 

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