A picnic and some bird watching...

Here in the northwest you can always find something to do. So when people say they are bored up here they are just really not trying. You can do anything from a hike to a pirate festival. I'm not staying I attend just anything I hear about but there are some really awesome events that I am starting to take more advantage of.

A friend of mind a couple years ago told me about the Swifts of Chapman Elementary. I tried to go see them shortly after hearing about them and unluckily went the day after they migrated:( So now a couple years later, I gave it another shot.

One thing I love about the Portland is the over abundance of little grocery markets and shops you can just pop in and buy unique foods for a picnic. I bought some pesto pasta salad, cheese, pears, salami, and homemade cookies for our picnic. Grabbed a blanket and off we (me and Mr. Big Dog) went. The weather was perfect, clear and crisp. The people watching was very epic with Portland-ers from business folk to the true Oregon hippie scattered around on blankets waiting for the show. Mr. Big Dog and I made up the perfect scenario for this man and woman next to us, in true people watching fashion. Our story for them was that it was originally a work relationship turned romantic:)

We had a really nice time, and it was the perfect evening. I think the company you have for things like this can really make the whole experience so much more fun and enjoyable.

Anyways, back to the birds....so it was amazing to see something like 35,000 little swift birds flying above in circles with one another like they were on an amusement park ride together. They flew around for what seemed like forever until the sun really set, then they started to form this huge line to get into their chimney home for the night. As the line entered the chimney the birds would almost just fall in and when the line was getting too wide some would fly back around in this huge sky circle for a second chance the next loop around.

My description really doesn't do the experience justice. And you can only see this show in September in Portland before they migrate south for the winter so if you want to go it will have to be in the next week. But it was beautiful....

As well as maybe just a little bit, ummmm..... creepy. Maybe only to Mr. Big Dog and I but we started to think about Alfred Hitchcock's: The Birds film. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all, we began to think:( We watched in awe of how many birds there really were, and really how they could turn and attack us at any minute. While everyone else was thinking how benign the birds were, we were thinking little weapons of destruction...... We had a good laugh about this and decided they were just sweet little sparrows putting on a show just for us:) at least for now they are.....

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Sometimes it takes a village....or just a group of really great friends:)

I am totally my mother's daughter. I always try to cram too much into one day and end up pulling late nighters just to finish the bare minimum of what I was trying to get accomplished.

With a deadline lurking in the very near distance causing me to push on through and always seem to get it done:) A couple nights ago was one of those nights. I had about 12 people coming over for a chili feed/cupcake feast in exchange for helping me with some long overdue projects.

These projects I have, have been overwhelming me lately. And when you are overwhelmed (at least for me) you stress and vent to work buddies and friends. SOOOOOO I think they just got sick of hearing my complain and a couple of them offered labor in exchange for my homemade chili and some cupcakes (doesn't that sound like a gastric nightmare).

Anyways, they seem to love my chili.

I got the recipe off the food network a couple years ago. And it' even kind of healthy...you should try it out. I use turkey instead of chicken. I just love chili in the fall:)

I think it's a maturity thing or maybe I just have good luck. But I have the best friends. They are truly caring, awesome, giving people that are always willing to help each other out.

I decided a couple years back to only have friendships with good people. I know, I know, we all say this but I really don't like superficial relationships of any kind. I don't like spending time with people out of obligation. And I have definitely figured out that if someone does not share the same moral values as me, we probably are not going to cliche:)

Life is too short. And they say you are the company you keep right? Well I would keep company with everyone I had over today again in a heartbeat.

And life is all about ups and downs, and give and take:) I have been there for a couple of these people when they need it too. Maybe not putting in a fence or pulling their weeds, but in cupcakes, lasagna, and sometimes just listening.....

My friends are soooo awesome! It looks great:) Thanks everybody!

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I need a new mower....a real mower (this is not an analogy for a man)

I had an epiphany today while mowing the lawn.

First of all, my yard is a 1/4 acre and I have been busy and out of town so I think it's been about 2 weeks since I last mowed it. Thanks to Portland, it still needed to be mowed because the fall rain made it grow:) Anyways, I HATE my mower. It's probably user error but I can't get the bag to stay on and then when it is on it sprays grass on me. And for some reason when I think I have it on correctly, under the right tire doesn't seem to cut. So I am out there, with my three dogs watching me, thinking "seriously, give me a break and just let me get this done. Why god does this have to be so difficult?" I am sweaty, hungry, tired, and really I am mowing twice since under the right tire is not cutting.....And then I start to get mad. I start to think about how this was his job. This was not my responsibility in my past life...or I should say as of 3 months ago. It was his. And I get upset. Upset with him, upset with me for being upset with him, and really upset with the stupid mower.

Back to the epiphany. Here I am about to cry about the stupid mower (probably just a little hormonally related or maybe sleep deprivation induced) with the three sets of little dog eyes staring at me like "mom just keep it together....and by the way you missed a spot over there."

And then it happened.......

I realized.....I would rather be alone forever than ever be with him again. Really I mean that from the bottom of my heart. I don't mean it hatefully or with anger. I just mean I am coming more and more to understand that this is the best thing I could, we could have ever done. We were totally wrong for one another and we made the worst come out in each other. Yes he did mowed the lawn but he was not a good partner for me.

Upon realizing this I felt free and grateful for a fresh start. Grateful that I get to have somewhat of a second life. And grateful I can mow my own lawn even if I am a mess at the end of it and it looks amateur:(

I think a majority of people live two lives in their lifetime. Nowadays, most are due to divorce. But still none the less, they live two lives. Divorce, drinking, death all can cause this second life. I recently have met all three types of "second lifers" and we are all so different, yet so similar in our situations of trying to figure it all out and not make the same "mistakes" as last time...

I am on to, or I should say....in my second life, but that does not mean the first didn't shape me and was for nothing. I am not trying to act like I am through it and it's all easy breezy. I don't

mean to come across cold or detached like it meant nothing to me. But I am glad it is over.

I just didn't realize how much I was living for someone else. How I was constantly putting someone else's needs above my own. And how most of all, I was not getting what I needed at all when I was really honest with myself.

It still hurts. And tonight after not crying for what seemed like forever, I cried. I had a good cry and thought about how even though this epiphany is progress....it can really feel like failure. Failure to have really not known myself, failure to have not been my own best friend, and failure to not be able to tap out when it really started to hurt and be bad for me.

But I am thankful that this is the foundation for my second life:) And I will be looking at a new mower for this new life this weekend:)....Do they come in pink? I would totally buy a pink mower....maybe I just came up with a new business idea.

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Does everything happens for a reason? Is it luck? I think a little of both

I have had a lot of stuff going on in my personal life (like I even need to say that) over the past 4 or so months. But I know so many other people having much more difficult times and things happening in their lives. I know I have said this before but when you hear about or see someone else going through something you automatically compare yourself.

Today I saved someones life:) She was is only 35 and has a one year old! It was horrible and stressful, but oh so rewarding when it all fell together and worked out. And I am happy to say she is fine and doing well thank goodness:)

She must have come along today to show me how different life can be in one single second. How you take for guaranteed the small things or the large for that matter. Your health, your friends, your dogs, you name it. And when you think you are having a bad day, sometimes you get a good old smack down from something higher just to show you how great you have it.

And sometimes you just get reassurance of why you are here, doing what you are doing at the moment....which is what I experienced today;) I love my job:)

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I found these adorable collars at Crate and Barrel of all places! My dogs are going to look so sharp:) I might just need to walk them on the water front while wearing a black pea coat just because we would all match so nicely. And I might need mom to do a photo shoot of the dogs:)

Fall is setting in and even though I will miss summer and shorts, I am excited for warm coats and hats. I plan on taking full advantage of my northwest neighborhood this fall. On my do list.....

1. Sauvies Island Corn Maze

2. Attend at least one haunted house

3. Decorate my porch with pumpkins

4. Carve a pumpkin with my nephew:)

5. Hike Multnomah Falls again

6. Bake pumpkin bread

7. And continue my list making:)

I am a strong believer that when you verbalize something, like my list, you have a better chance of making whatever it is happen. I think when I tell someone I am going to do something then I feel more of a push to do it. I guess am pretty serious about holding myself to my word.....which for me is a good thing.

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My Vegas weekend was a blast! We did the pool, the spa, shopped, saw an awesome show, and laughed so much my stomach muscles hurt:) I always have the best time with my sister and her hubs. A couple of things we really noticed with our people watching this weekend....

Kids really don't like Vegas and don't really fit in but so many people bring them!

People should not text and walk or really do anything on their phone while walking it's dangerous and annoying.

Burts beeswax lip balm is bad for your pores:(

Men design hotel rooms, we know this because the only full length mirror was behind a desk;) and the lighting was not great:(

Security guards at hotels are cute little old men who unlock your room as many times as your key doesn't work:)

And beautiful weather, fun people, and lack of responsibility make for a fun trip:) this may need to be an annual event...

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Free advice

I have been working hard and playing even harder. My days are filled with work or something fun and then I am always on the phone with somebody lately. One of my besties is going thru a hard time so I am on the phone with her, or I'm on the phone with my pals from near and far catching up (they like living vicariously though my single fun life)....or I am on the phone with someone else:)

I, as usual, am always trying to do everything. ALL THE TIME. Until I pretty much drop. My body usually gives me the yellow signal light that I ignore, or it's actually more like the gas light in your car turning on...but I continue to drive. And the other night was one of those nights, I was running on empty and sooo tired but restless. This has now become my norm. So I took ambien to try encourage some much needed sleep.

Which would have been great...but then I ended up getting on the phone thinking I would only chat a little while because the ambien would most likely make me hit the wall.

The conversation must have been good because this caller never disappoints. But..... it is kind of hazy cloudy. The next thing I knew I was on my way to work probably, um....8ish hours later..... realizing I don't remember getting off the phone:(

People had told me, I should say WARNED me about ambien but I just thought they had issues honestly. One of my girlfriends said she pruned her trees on it, another said she woke up naked in her family room, and the list goes on. I just thought they were crazy and not in the right mind frame when they took the little pink pill, but now I am a believer.

So a little word of advice, if you don't want a panic attack the next morning thinking "I hope I wasn't slurring my words" (but I probably was) then definitely no talking on the phone after taking an ambein.....

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