I found these adorable collars at Crate and Barrel of all places! My dogs are going to look so sharp:) I might just need to walk them on the water front while wearing a black pea coat just because we would all match so nicely. And I might need mom to do a photo shoot of the dogs:)

Fall is setting in and even though I will miss summer and shorts, I am excited for warm coats and hats. I plan on taking full advantage of my northwest neighborhood this fall. On my do list.....

1. Sauvies Island Corn Maze

2. Attend at least one haunted house

3. Decorate my porch with pumpkins

4. Carve a pumpkin with my nephew:)

5. Hike Multnomah Falls again

6. Bake pumpkin bread

7. And continue my list making:)

I am a strong believer that when you verbalize something, like my list, you have a better chance of making whatever it is happen. I think when I tell someone I am going to do something then I feel more of a push to do it. I guess am pretty serious about holding myself to my word.....which for me is a good thing.

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My Vegas weekend was a blast! We did the pool, the spa, shopped, saw an awesome show, and laughed so much my stomach muscles hurt:) I always have the best time with my sister and her hubs. A couple of things we really noticed with our people watching this weekend....

Kids really don't like Vegas and don't really fit in but so many people bring them!

People should not text and walk or really do anything on their phone while walking it's dangerous and annoying.

Burts beeswax lip balm is bad for your pores:(

Men design hotel rooms, we know this because the only full length mirror was behind a desk;) and the lighting was not great:(

Security guards at hotels are cute little old men who unlock your room as many times as your key doesn't work:)

And beautiful weather, fun people, and lack of responsibility make for a fun trip:) this may need to be an annual event...

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Free advice

I have been working hard and playing even harder. My days are filled with work or something fun and then I am always on the phone with somebody lately. One of my besties is going thru a hard time so I am on the phone with her, or I'm on the phone with my pals from near and far catching up (they like living vicariously though my single fun life)....or I am on the phone with someone else:)

I, as usual, am always trying to do everything. ALL THE TIME. Until I pretty much drop. My body usually gives me the yellow signal light that I ignore, or it's actually more like the gas light in your car turning on...but I continue to drive. And the other night was one of those nights, I was running on empty and sooo tired but restless. This has now become my norm. So I took ambien to try encourage some much needed sleep.

Which would have been great...but then I ended up getting on the phone thinking I would only chat a little while because the ambien would most likely make me hit the wall.

The conversation must have been good because this caller never disappoints. But..... it is kind of hazy cloudy. The next thing I knew I was on my way to work probably, um....8ish hours later..... realizing I don't remember getting off the phone:(

People had told me, I should say WARNED me about ambien but I just thought they had issues honestly. One of my girlfriends said she pruned her trees on it, another said she woke up naked in her family room, and the list goes on. I just thought they were crazy and not in the right mind frame when they took the little pink pill, but now I am a believer.

So a little word of advice, if you don't want a panic attack the next morning thinking "I hope I wasn't slurring my words" (but I probably was) then definitely no talking on the phone after taking an ambein.....

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Viva Las Vegas

Isn't it funny how as an adult your idea of a vacation changes so much? They use to involve amusement parks, driving a long distance and being so pumped that there was an indoor pool. Now I think vaca and thoughts of facials, turning the cell phone off, and always always shopping:) come to mind.

This trip just kind of snuck up on me:) I get to tag along with my sister and her hubs to Vegas this weekend. The weather is suppose to be in the 90's! I can hear the pool calling my name:)

It will be nice to just relax, not have anywhere to be or go, and just catch up with my sissy:)

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Lotta dog to love

I don't think I have ever really been up close to a Saint Bernard. I don't think I have ever even known someone who owned a dog larger than a lab or golden retriever. But now I do:) And the other day we took our dogs to the river.

I took Hoffa since the vet had recommended swimming to her new workout routine (you can barely see her on my right). The dogs could care less about one another. They were both so mellow together. Jay swam a little bit, but Hoffa would only wade in to her chest. I guess she didn't want to mess up her hair:)

I have to admit I had some idea, or I should say preconceived notion of a Saint Bernard being this huge uncontrollable slobbering horse. (Sorry Jay:( just being honest). That is just what I thought came with having such a huge dog, .....slobber and chaos.

Instead I was pleasantly surprised at his demeanor. He was such a gentle giant. Just a real laid back guy:) The picture is pretty much how he looked most of time.

But in my eyes he is still closer to the size of a horse than a dog.

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Fun Firsts

In the beginning of my single journey I remember crying to one of my girlfriends about how I would "never go to a movie with him again, or ever take a walk with him again, or even kiss him again." It was quite dramatic and panic provoking....just the idea of being alone I guess? Or maybe just loosing someone you were so use to doing all of those things with. These old things has a certain degree of comfortable, and now I was very uncomfortable.

One of my girlfriends has been married for almost 10 years, she just had her second baby and she is loving life. She loves her life 110%, but she said something to me that is so true. She reminded me that even though that chapter was closed in my life and yes I would not be doing any of those things with him..... I was going to get to have new "firsts." She said how she remembers and still has the feelings of "firsts" with her husband, now they just involve babies teething or learning to talk:)

She just reminded me of how......

I get to have a first date with someone else. I get to have a first laugh with someone else. I even get to have a first kiss with someone else. I get to feel all teenage like (in a good way) and be excited to talk to this someone on the phone until 2 am:)

I do have a lot of "lasts" that sting once in awhile, but the "firsts" are starting to multiply and I am not complaining one bit about those:)

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Time keeps ticking

I turned thirty this past April. I am divorced. I have a great career. I have a house and a paid off car. I have my sister and my mom nearby. And loads of friends, who this weekend seem to all be doing fun things they would love me to partake in. I think I have been invited to 2 BBQ's, 1 Birthday party, caving at Mt. St. Helen's, and running a new trail with a one of my girlfriends all this weekend! I have been busy and I am having fun. And for all of this I feel blessed, even the divorce since I have survived and things could always be a lot worse.

So why am I saying all of this? Maybe it's my personality. Maybe it's society norms. But I feel this little bit of anxiety that wax and wains but never quite disappears. This little voice in my head saying "what are you going to do?" "You are a this fork in the road, so make it count and do what you really want!"

I have always thought I would go to graduate school. I applied last year and did not get in because it wasn't part of the plan for me at the time. It truly would have been a mess if I had gotten in, at the time it was disappointing but looking back I see it was good this path did not start quite yet. So is it time now?

Or I have always loved renovating the houses I live in. I love seeing potential in something and making it beautiful again. I love the DIY and HGTV channel. I love a challenge. I have been wanting to buy another house and renovate it. But it wasn't something I have been courageous enough to do as of yet. And I didn't have the support in my personal life to do so, until now. So is it time now?

Then there is the ultimate goal of a family:) I want to be a mom someday and I swear that clock does tick loud. Especially when you work with women in my same age group. Everyone is pregnant that I work with. All cute with their bellies and excited with their nursery planning....and I feel 40 steps behind with thinking about my lack of a husband.

So back to the clock of life ticking. I just wish I had a crystal ball or my own personal fortune teller to ease my mind. To tell me it will be just as I wish and it is going to take time that I can not fast forward. There is a reason I am suppose to work through all of this at this pace and I will continue to just take one day at a time...but it's hard to just LET that happen or at least acknowledge that I have no control.

But if I could buy that crystal ball I might just pay everything I had for it right now:)

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