Reckless with responsibility.....

Sometimes I have these fleeting thoughts and moments where I just don't want to be an adult with responsibilities anymore. I want to play, have someone else cook for me, and not pay a single bill. I want to run off on vacation and not worry about whose going to watch my dogs. I want to let go of everything and just take off.

Today for some reason I really had this urge...and for some reason I was missing Reno. Missing the hot summer at the lake (it's STILL raining here in the Pacific Northwest!!!). Missing the snow falling in the winter. Missing my family who still lives there....and I started to think about how every second I get older and more responsibility seems to seep into my life. How you only live once and I am feeling stagnant and bored.

I know those of you out there think I am always on the go, I am always busy and there is NO way I can be bored. But currently I feel like I just need something to look forward too. I need something new to focus on. I need a new challenge..... (not involving a bike thank you very much).

I need to revisit my bucket list. Do you have one? You know, a list of things you want to accomplish before you die? ....but as I sit here and think this and write this.....I am realizing everything currently on my bucket list involves much more responsibility. Much more commitment and a lot in the challenge department.

So really the question is....am I ready?

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Simple goodness

I love the sound the wind makes through the trees in the backyard, it's like this gentle wave of comfort. I love a big beautiful full moon, especially enjoying it at 2 am. I love how the moon lights up the whole earth and everything looks more romantic and calm washed in the bluish moonlight. I love mornings, early having coffee in my robe with my dogs dancing around my feet. I love how smart my herd of dogs are, and how they know exactly when dinner is (and they remind me:) ) I love days off. I love my never ending "TO DO" list. I love having too much "TO DO" but none of it has to be done right this second. I love making things pretty again with a fresh coat of paint. I love how much I can appreciate small things and very large things. And today, I am full to the brim with happiness. I am content and I just want to enjoy every single minute of my day:) Have a great day:)

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What in the world did I do before the internet?

So I have been noticing my dependence on the internet a lot lately. Of course for directions, then sometimes for movies on netflix, and recipes on the foodnetwork. But then I realized just how handy it is for those "how to" questions.

The other night I wanted to a kiwi, but I always butcher them and mess them up so bad they just don't look nice and it's a mess. And a pineapple was also a purchase I have been dreading cutting up but salivating just thinking about it. So this is where the internet magic began:)

Just check this out......

Kiwi: http://steamykitchen.com/1692-how-to-peel-and-cut-kiwi-fruit.html

Pineapple: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LrRhKqb64

Seriously, I am amazed at how easy somethings are....that is.....now that I can look them up in two seconds on my trusty little mac;)

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Ain't nothing gonna break my stride, nobody's gonna slow me down, I gotta keep on moving....

Today is the day I am flipping to running. Gotta get ready for Hood to Coast. This year is the 30th anniversary and there is a documentary out about it. I highly recommend watching it. Really good, and not just about running. It's about WHY people run and what pushes them.

For me, running has been about as therapeutic as this blog. I have really gotten over a couple hills this past year and I thank god my legs work as well as they do to bike and run. I am telling you, when I am physically tired all my worries are less and I feel better about myself. I sleep better, I eat better, and I think I just take better care of myself.

Mr. Big Dog will be running Hood to Coast for his first year this year!! He'll be on my team of course, but he will be training with me...or I should really say I with him since he is a much better runner. He's even won a couple of our local 10ks for his division;)

I love that we can run together, bike together, you really name it we can do it together. And not just do something but really enjoy each others company doing it. It's so great to have someone who shares the same likes and is always up for a challenge;) He is pretty amazing that Mr. Big Dog....he even pushes me sometimes when I don't feel like going that next step. We kind of work that way, I push him and he pushes me. And I love it!

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Home Sweet Home

I came. I saw. And I conquered.

The ride was by far one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. The weather made it more of a challenge but the route was one I knew very well from my childhood. As I road in 42 degree weather with rain and wind, I remembered my winters as a kid skiing at Tahoe. I rode past an old camp site where my family spent a rainy memorial weekend once upon a time. I rode past a cabin my family once owned and spend many weekends and fun times in the summer and winter. I cried a little as I pasted my favorite ski resort on the way to Truckee, California. I cried because the memories were good, and I cried because they are just memories and I know I can't really relive them. I cried because the memories were filled with people I don't even know anymore, and some that I am closer to now more than ever.

It was cold, hard and wet. It's hard to explain but I was exhilarated and exhausted all at once. Exhilarated by how proud of myself I am, but exhausted at how much work it has taken to stay on this path. Sometimes the path easier would be the more negative one, which I have tried tooth and nail to stay away from...even though sometimes I may trip a little on this one. The harder path filled with uncomfortable moments and tears here and there. But also I've had some great times this year with family and friends, trying new things and just letting go more. But either way this path I'm on has been mine and it's how I've come to be where I am.

Anyway, I trudged on for nine hours total but it seemed to fall by. I rode and rode and climbed and climbed. I reached my last climb around 2pm, the clouds cleared and the sun came out. It was like a reward for the past eight hours, God brought the sun out. The next hour was just me, my bike and a long downhill with the wind blowing in my face. I was relived, it was like a huge weight was off of my shoulders....I was at mile 88 per my little bike calculator:) I was thinking....you did it, you're almost done!

The next 12 miles is a blur of shear exhaustion and muscle burning, mixed with a side of hunger pains. I just kept going. I couldn't have stopped if I wanted to, there was unexplainable drive pushing me.

And as I crossed the finish line I saw the faces of my sister and brother in law, nephews, brother and sister in law, niece and grandmother all there. They were there cheering and supporting me. The little ones were even cheering too:) They, like many other people in my life have supported me though this year.

It was such a wonderful feeling to have people there I love to see me cross the finish. To share it with me.

So that's it....100 miles down:) Now what you ask? Well lets just say that was just one thing off my plate......

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Inspiration when I needed it most

I am embarrassed to say I was having a huge pity party for myself this afternoon here at Lake Tahoe. The weather has been horrible. And I mean horrible. Portland horrible. I have trained the past 18 weeks to be completing this race in nice weather people. I have been fantasizing, especially on my extra wet hard rides of tsunami rain. Dreaming of me in shorts getting an awesome suntan while on the bike, how easy it will be with nice weather.

Not gonna happen this weekend.

And then there is the stinger of my team making a big deal about how this weekend is all about the team and that family and friends don't really come. Then we get here and everyone seems to have someone with them except me. So much so that I ended up spending the day alone. So the pity party started as I walked alone in the rain after our very wet 20 mile warm up this morning. I called Mr. Big Dog which helped but I was still pretty down.

That was until the inspirational dinner tonight (that I didn't even want to attend with my bad attitude).

I have nothing to be upset about. I feel self centered and immature for my morning attitude.

We go to hear and physically see in our presence the woman who started Team in Training back in 1986. Her name is Lucy Duffy and she is AMAZING. She is a true saint among us.

The concept of Team in Training was born in 1986 by Lucy Duffy. Lucy ran the New York City Marathon that year after soliciting donations for each mile she completed, in honor of her husband, who was battling leukemia. Her husband died two months later, but the $30,000 Lucy raised was the start of the program that is playing the major role in funding the research that will soon find the cure for most forms of leukemia.

She is now 78 years old. She will be riding rain or shine with us tomorrow.....did I say she is riding with us!!! 100 miles at 78 years old!!! All my self centered-ness melted off in seconds and I remembered why I am doing this. For leukemia, lymphoma and all the blood cancers. I raised 4,000 dollars with the help of family and friends.

Another amazing discovery at this dinner was the numbers of people who raised over 20,000 dollars by themselves. Two people raised 90,000 dollars!!! Can you imagine if everyone had that much drive, ambition, dedication to a cause.

There was not a dry eye in the house tonight and everyone is pumped to ride......rain or shine.

But I am still praying for sunshine. As a Portlander I know we call it liquid sunshine....but the real stuff is so awesome!!! And I now have the goal to be half as athletic as Lucy at 78:)

Wish me luck.....06:20 start time tomorrow!!!!

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Getting on a jet plane

I have a big bad not so secret to share. My sister knows it, I know it, and if you ever travel with me you will discover it. I CAN NOT PACK to save my life. I procrastinate, am indecisive about what I will possibly want to wear on the trip, and I always forget something.

I started my packing last night. But as you can see, there is not rhythm or reason to my bag.....and as usual it is overflowing. I sometimes empty it out and start over, sometimes I try to make a list of what I am wearing each day. But overall, it just never works out and I end up not wearing half of what I take. And like I said I always forget something. And did I say I am ONLY going for the weekend. You would think I was going to be there a week by the sight of my bag.

Oh well, just one of my little quirks that I am known for:)

Back to packing I go....count down to ride 44 hours:) EKKKK!

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Long time no talk

I don't know how it happened but it has been awhile since I last blogged. Life gets so busy sometimes. So I am still here for the record......

I am getting ready for my ride, yes my big 100 mile ride is THIS weekend. I have been training for this since January, thinking about it since last November and talking about it constantly. It is finally here.

I have trained in lots of rain, wind, ice and even hail all thinking about this ride at Lake Tahoe. The veterans on my team all have encouraged and talked about how the weather will be great in Tahoe and the cold weather will be a distant memory.

But this year things are not looking so warm or dry. This year it has been wet and colder everywhere and Tahoe is looking like it will not be anything like it usually is.

My team keeps checking the forecast and it says 53 and rain:(

So today I am packing all my rain gear as well as some warmer weather type of clothes.

I can't believe it is here and I am so ready for it. Even if it is in the rain.

I think it is weird how sometimes I see myself in situations after the fact that have an ironic twist to them. I was in Reno this time last year so see my newest nephew. I had a completely different life. I was miserable, unhappy, unhealthy, and just sad overall little did I realize at the time. And that will be exactly a year ago......and now I am riding 100 miles around Lake Tahoe and beyond. I am the happiest I have ever been, I am healthy, and excited about how much my life has yet to experience.

Ironic how the dates collide....ironic how I am doing something I would have never dreamed I could do. Just ironic......and fabulous all at the same time.

Weird how life does that.....exactly a year and I didn't even realize it until this week.

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