Thursday, February 23, 2012


Lord, I have never felt so out of control in my life. I mean this in the utmost surrender kind of way. I know this life has been given to me by you and I have the will to do what I want with it, but I again you are the one driving this bus.
I have faith and know that you give me what you know I need and what I can handle in the perfect timing of when I can handle it and need it.
I may have said over the years, "everything happens for a reason" and "it's his will, not mine" but really when you start to see everything line up in your life and become your dreams it really is overwhelming. It is so beautiful and wonderful but so scary all at once.....to feel the faith you have had is really being proven.
I have watched my sister and brother both find their partners early on, as I took another path against your unspoken guidance even with all the glaring warnings you flared at me. But you still loved and supported me through it and helped me to the other side.
I have always wanted to be a wife. To have a partner I can share everything with, someone who really gets me and loves me unconditionally. You have now given me all of this.

I have watched my sister and brother start little families with babies over the past years, and I craved and wanted it all so much for myself. I love them all with as much as I can, but still I hoped and prayed someday I would get the chance to experience it all myself.
As I watched from a far, everything else in my life seemed to fall apart. And when I sat in the rubble I hoped and prayed that you could help me find something better. You did.

All my dreams and hopes are being given to me, and there is no one who can convince me it is not you doing the work. You loving me and making it all happen. It happened so quick, it feels like overnight. I look at myself in the mirror and have to pinch myself sometimes. To feel this happy and be so content. To be so excited to live and see what is coming next.

And I know it is all your will and plan, and that things can change. But I trust in you that you know what is best for us.
Thank you is no where close to enough, I am so blessed.....we are so blessed.

Saturday, February 4, 2012


I had her for 11 years and 134,000 miles. I think I may be the only one in my family to keep a car to long. She was reliable and good to me. And now she is going to be a blessing to another family.
I didn't realize how attached I was to her until we got the call today that she sold. It funny how a car is such a huge part of your life and how much you depend on them. I have a lot of memories with that car, but I am ready to let her go.
On to the next chapter.....

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